Page 94 of Jagged Line Paradise

I look at her, blinking.

I didn’t know that.

I don’t know what to say.

“He paused when I said it,” she continues, “and he took a step back. And instead of giving up and letting him kill me, which I was ready to do, I fought him. He stepped back because I told him I loved you, and it gave me a split-second to remember how much I wanted to live.”

She thought she was going to die.

She thought she was about to be murdered and she wanted him to tell me that she loved me.

Her dying wish was for me to know that she loved me.

Dios mío.

She leans forward and grabs my face in her hands. “I’ve always loved you. I’ve loved you forever. You wanted to know what saved me, and that...that’s what saved me.”

Chapter 24

Andrés

I REACH AROUNDto grab the back of her neck, tug her forward, and slam my lips to hers with a crushing kiss. Her hands slip from my cheeks to wrap around my shoulders, hugging me close as I tell her how much she means to me without words. It’s not a fevered kiss, not hurried, not desperate, not heated and begging for more. It’s a connection, pure and simple, and it ends cleanly as I scoop her from the chair, pulling her onto my lap.

Her legs straddle mine as I sit back on my heels on the carpet. Though she settles her weight over my cock and the position is overtly sexual, the moment is so much more. It’s beyond anything I’ve ever called sexual, and I can’t even explain it.

Her arms wrap around me so completely, so tightly, that it shows how much she needs me, how much she’s always needed me. It reminds me how much I hate myself for leaving her behind. I should have dragged her from this shit town kicking and screaming when I left. I should have tried harder to stay in touch with her. I should have insisted that we stayed in contact. I shouldn’t have given up on our friendship as easily as I had, just because I couldn’t accept how angry she was at me for leaving her.

I didn’t understand how much she was hurting until now because I chose not to try. I gave up on her.

I squeeze her, burying my face in her soft hair against the crook of her neck. “I love you, Avalon.” The words are easy because they’re true. I’ve always loved her, even when I tried to pretend that I’d moved on from her.

We hold each other this way for minutes and it’s probably the most peaceful I’ve ever felt in my life. Our hands move slowly, rubbing backs and stroking hair and showing each other affection and care. It’s easily the most content I’ve ever felt—but one shift of her hips over my crotch triggers that nasty beast within me, wanting to turn something innocent and beautiful into filthy, depraved fucking.

How can I eventhink of being anything but tender with her after allshe’s been through?

I still want to see her naked and writhing from the pain and pleasure I deliver. I still want to play with her, have her fight me, let me chase her, catch her, devour her.

Imust be sick.

Like my fucking father.

I don’t deserve moments like this with her.

Her hands find my cheeks and she presses a gentle kiss to my lips that makes my filthy fucking cock twitch.

“I think I need help, Andrés.” She blinks and turns her eyes away, her lips parting as if she’s shocked to hear herself say those words out loud.

It snaps me back to reality. “I can get you help.”

“I can’t really afford—”

“It doesn’t matter.Vindicationhas all the resources you need, and it won’t cost you a dime. I’ll take care of everything…if you want me to.”

She sighs and drops her forehead to mine. “I don’t want to. I don’t want to do it.”

“But you know you need to.”

Her green eyes dart upward to meet mine and I see her admission, her need. I’ve worked with enough survivors to know the look, the one that screams“helpme”though they refuse to part their lips and ask for help out loud. She gives the tiniest of nods.

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