Page 85 of Jagged Line Paradise

I nod my head against his and lower my voice to a whisper. “She was so horrible to me when I was little, Andrés. You remember. I used to cry alone in my room and sometimes, I wished she were dead.”

“I remember,” he says sadly, and it makes my chest feel tight.

“I got nothing from her. No care, no love, no attention.”

“Yet you’ve been here with her, taking care of everything she needs. Why do you do it, Lonnie?”

I shrug my shoulder. “Because I have to? I had nowhere else to go when Anthony and I got divorced. It wasn’t long after moving in with her that she got sick. It’s selfish that I stayed, really. I just didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“That’s not selfish.” We both blink, our eyes meeting, and he holds me in his stare. “Anyone else I know would’ve left, would’ve said‘karma’s abitch’and moved on. You stayed and took care of her when she didn’t deserve it. You’re golden, Avalon.Luz de mi vida.”

My stomach sinks with pure delight because the way he says those words touches my soul. I pinch my eyes shut, but then open them again when I feel his palm touch my cheek. His dark eyes are contrite when they look at me.

“I’m sorry about last night,” he says.

“Sorry?”

“In the shower. I hurt you. I lost control and I didn’t take care of you the way I should have.”

I swallow down the lump rising in my throat. “I’m…I’m not fragile. I’m not just some broken creature who needs a man to—” I don’t have a direction with my words and the more I talk, the more I feel like crying. Because I am fragile right now. I am some broken creature and I do need him.

I need him.

His thumb brushes over my lip and it stills me. “I know you’re not. You’re anything but fragile. Is that what you think of yourself?”

The question begs my tears to well in my eyes with no explanation. “I hate that you came back. I hate it so much…because now I remember what life was like with you in it. You’ve made me fall for you all over again, and my heart already feels broken because I know you won’t stay. You can’t stay here with me. There’s nothing here for you. You have an entire life back in LA. Once the documentary is over, that’s…that’s it, isn’t it?”

He shifts to hold my face in both his palms. “I don’t want that to be it. I don’t want that, Avalon.”

“Are you gonna stay? I don’t have the means to leave. All I have to my name is that stupid trailer once she’s gone and nothing else. If this isn’t heading into relationship territory for you, then—”

He kisses me.

He kisses me and the world stops.

He kisses me and the world spins faster.

His lips tell mine that he wants me, that he needs me.

I sink into him, melting in his hold, my body slipping down so my butt falls between his legs and he cradles me in the chair. This kiss is quiet passion and reserved desire. His tongue sweeps slowly and circles mine, a delicious swirl flavored by love and sprinkled with tenderness. My eyes fall closed as I savor him and the feeling he feeds me.

This kiss is not placating, it’s not expectant. It’s just truth—connection and truth.

It doesn’t end so much as it fades, lingering between us even as our lips fall away from each other’s, as if the kiss still exists in our shared breath. We both fight to maintain a steady rhythm of inhales and exhales as we hold each other still in this moment.

“I have done everything wrong by you, and I don’t know why you would choose me after what I’ve put you through.”

“ Andrés—”

“The only thing I know is that I want to be with you. Even if I don’t deserve it. Maybe I can earn it.”

“You really want me? How can you know that after a decade away and only a few short days together again?” My fingers absently play with his shirt collar.

“It’s always been you,miamor.I was just too fucking stupid. I spent years trying to hide my feelings for you from myself and when I saw you again…” He pauses. “I’m so afraid of hurting you, but I want you so much. I want to be with you.”

I lay my head down in the crook of his neck and cuddle into his embrace as he holds me, pets me, loves me. I feel light and heavy all at once, as though one burden has been lifted while another replaced it.

I want his love, Ineedit.

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