Page 104 of Jagged Line Paradise

“What am I really afraid of?”

“Becoming your father.”

I gasp at the way that truth slices through me. It’s the thing I’ve always feared, the thing I’ve worked so hard to fight against. The last thing I want to do is unleash this beast inside me upon Avalon, but she’s begging me for it, pleading for it, poking and prodding the lion in its cage, and it fucking wants her. I fucking want her.

Just as I lean forward to kiss her, she jerks back, away from my hold. She jogs a few steps toward the slope that leads the way back down before spinning around to face me again. There’s a cheeky smile on her face that makes me want to fucking howl.

“If you want,” she yells but notices her bag is still sitting near the ledge. She jogs to get it and returns to the spot, starting again. “If you want it, come get it.”

Does she have any fuckingidea how this game ends?

Does she really know whatshe’s asking for?

I don’t fucking care.

She was just dangling the key before, but she unlocks the cage and it swings wide open when she shimmies her skirt up her thighs an inch and wiggles her hips playfully. When she turns and runs from me down the hill, the beast comes out to play.

Chapter 27

Avalon

I FEEL YOUNGagain.

He brings out the best parts of me and makes me feel playful. I’m so glad for it, too, because this day has been rough. My soul is tired, and it needs a break from the pain of revisiting my past.

Playing this allegedly dangerous game with him was my dumb idea. I wanted to bring out the beast he seems so afraid of, so I did a little prodding. Part of me knows this may end badly for me—not that I think he’ll physically harm me. I’m more afraid of him triggering emotional pain that I’m not equipped to handle yet.

But I’m not thinking about that right now.

All my attention is focused on running down this incline without tumbling over a damn shrub—it was a hell of a lot easier when I was eighteen.

My attention isn’t on my past, my pain, or my trauma. It isn’t even on my future with Andrés and what that might look like or how we’ll make it work. All I know is the way my heart hammers against my ribs, the way the hot, dry air rushes in and out of my lungs, the pleasant ache low in my belly, and the deep burning itch that demands to be scratched.

We have to finish what we started earlier, but I’m ready for the rough now. I want the aggression, the uncontrollable beast inside him; I want him to touch me, hurt me, make me cry.

Why do I want that?

Am I really readyfor that?

It’s a little too late to question whether I’m ready because I’ve already run from him and he’s chasing me.

I reach the bottom of the hill and come up on the black SUV. I stop in front of it, confused, because I know I really can’t be running around Paradise Park as if I’m being chased by him in broad daylight. I guess I didn’t really think this through. I’m about to turn around to face him, but I never get the chance.

Large hands land on my hips, gripping me with bruising force, and I’m rushed forward as his body molds to my backside. He keeps me upright in his hold as he marches me forward with force, pulling the strap of my bag off my shoulder and letting it fall to the ground. He pushes me forward until I’m pressed to the side of the car. I brace my hands against the warm metal and he falls heavy against me.

His lips are beside my ear and his voice is deep. “Do you understand what you’re doing to me?”

My voice is weak, broken, a breath of a whisper. “I think so.”

“You think so?” He clicks his tongue. His hips thrust forward, and I feel his hard-on rub against my butt. “You can’t tell?”

“Holy wow.”

His right hand slips from my hip, down my thigh, gentle fingertips trailing over my skin and slipping beneath my skirt. I turn my head to the side and look down the dirt road. I realize no one would really be able to see what we’re doing from this angle, not unless they were driving right toward us, which would be unusual. My knees buckle beneath me when I realize he could touch me here, shoved against the car, so close to the bluff where we grew up together and…and fell in love.

I’ve been in love with him forever.

“You know what I think?” he whispers. “I think you like the adrenaline rush.”

---