Page 40 of Spark of Madness

Mercy

I HEAR THREEknocks against the bedroom door; three dull thuds that somehow sound exactly the way I’d expect Arlo to knock.

“Come in.”

It feels strange to extend an invitation. I’m certain if I’d said, “Don’t come in,” or “Go away,” he would have rejected the protest and come in all the same.

The knob turns and the door swings open wide, revealing Arlo centered in the entryway. I’m perched on the very edge of the armchair across from my bed, my head turned toward him, and there’s a beat where everything within me feels so light and weak at the sight of him that I worry I might topple forward onto the floor with so much as a gentle breeze.

He’s dressed all in black, his clothes pressed in sharp lines and severe edges. His button-down shirt is open at the collar, hinting at curls hidden beneath. The waistcoat he wears has a silver chain draping from the second button to the small pocket stitched across its side. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing the lines and sinews of his forearms, which draw my eyes down to his closed fists.

He stands with potency, his feet planted in a wide stance and his arms at his sides. It’s the tan length of rope looped through his gloved and fisted fingers that makes my words catch in my throat.

“What…Why do you have that?”

“Come here,” he commands.

I’m on my feet and moving across the room before a single thought of protest has a chance to fly through my mind. I think it must be fear that compels me to obey him without a thought. I don’t feel fearful, though…not truly. Not in the way I’ve felt real fear through so many nights of service—shaking through my soul and quaking in my bones.

I come to a stop in front of him, my head bowed slightly as I fixate on the rope in his left hand.

His right hand floats toward me, and his knuckles lift to tap beneath my chin. “I don’t need to bind you, do I, Mercy? I know you’re a sinner, but I also know you’re capable of compliance when it benefits you.”

Compliance is such an ugly word.

Compliant is what I’ve been for far too long.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized how blind compliance to a doctrine—one that didn’t even make sense to me anymore—was dangerous. But he’s not wrong; I am capable of compliance since that’s what keeps servants alive. It was my rebellion that put me here, after all.

I shake my head, causing him to drop his hand. “No. You don’t need to bind me.”

His eyebrows twitch, casting an odd shadow over his bright eyes that brings a look of disappointment. I step back when he steps toward me, but then he stops.

“You only need to give me one reason to wrap this around your neck and lead you like a dog.” His voice is calm and cool, as if his threat is nothing more than polite conversation. “One reason, one step out of line. Do you understand?”

I huff, not in anger, but in exhaustion. I’m so damn tired. I’m tired and hungry and too drained to fight. I nod, understanding what he’s telling me, though that understanding doesn’t lessen my confusion over what’s happened to my life.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

I don’t understand what we believe.

I don’t understand the god we worship.

I don’t understand why running from service is a sin.

I don’t understand any of it, nothing at all.

Arlo’s shoulders loosen and relax as he watches me, and something in his features soften. Then he turns, moving to stand beside me, holding out his left arm for me to take.

“I’m glad we understand each other.”

The rope remains tight in his grip, dangling between us. I watch it sway for a moment before slipping my arm through his. With our arms linked, he pulls me closer to his side, and I feel the end of the rope brush my leg through the thin silk fabric of my crimson gown.

I flinch at the touch of it, but not in a fearful way. It’s almost like being touched by him, like the rope is an extension of his hand, and he’s just grazed my thigh. I push out a slow breath through my nose, trying to steady myself as he leads us into the hallway.

“Where are we going?”

“To dinner. I told you I would collect you.”

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