Page 2 of Spark of Madness

I turn my head to the side, looking out at the campfire and the licking orange flames as depravity claims our village. Theo pumps his fingers harshly, grunting as he grinds his body against mine. He’s trying to draw slickness and desire out of me, though it’s for his benefit, not mine.

I sigh, watching as Hyatt playfully threatens to push Ivy into the flames. She screams and he laughs, a pulse of collective pleasure at the sound of her horror ripping through the crowd.

Men thrive on our horror, our pain, our misery. It’s their burden to carry as they live their lives suppressing their natural and overwhelming urges—that instinctual, primal need for violence and sex, and the mixture of them together.

It’s why we serve the Impulse tonight. It’s why we allow them a regular outlet to purge. It’s why we live to serve.

Purging is the only way they can control it.

Except I don’t believe that.

Theo’s hand leaves my throat, but only to allow him space to sink his teeth into the side of my neck, eliciting a yelp from me.

“I want to hear you scream like that,” he whispers.

I gulp, assured that he will make me scream like that if it’s what he wants.

“For fuck’s sake,” his voice is tinged with agitation, “get wet for me already.”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m trying.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he snarls, pulling his fingers out. He grips my shoulders and turns me before throwing me down on the dirt. I land sideways on my hip, a puff of soil caking my skirt. “Hands and knees.”

I obey, though everything within me begs to resist.

Theo will hurt me and use me, but it won’t be as bad as it would’ve been with Hyatt. I should be grateful to serve Theo’s needs.

I’m not grateful to serve any man.

The boning of my black corset digs into my pelvis as I maneuver into position for him. I arch my back as he flips up my skirt, exposing my bare bottom to the world—but I’m still more covered than most of the women around us.

Grunting, groaning, screaming sex fills the air.

I’m supposed to let it take hold of me, to let it fill my heart with passion for service so it can sink me in pleasure—pleasure derived from serving any violent or sexual desire that’s demanded by the men of Ember Glen.

But it never works for me, and as far as I can tell, I’m the only one. I’m the only woman who seems to think this way, or maybe the others just don’t let on. I’m having a harder time hiding my truth as time goes on. I’m a bad seed, and I deserve to feel the pain of service.

Except...I don’t deserve itat all.

Theo slams inside me, thrusting into my dry pussy with painful force as he grips my hips.

“It only hurts because you weren’t ready for me.” Always trying to shift the blame. “What’s wrong with you?” he asks as he fucks me from behind.

Nothing’swrong with me.

Everything around me is wrong, but it makesmewrong to think it. To speak it would get me killed, so I pinch my eyes shut against the burning pain between my legs as Theo thrusts, and I let the single teardrop stray from the corner of my eye in aching silence.

I keep my mouth shut and let Theo sink into his cravings. Eventually my body succumbs to his movement, slickening with fake arousal to ease the sharpness of his intrusion.

We live to serve; weserve to live.

I repeat our mantra in my mind, pretending that I actually believe it until some part of my mind that aches to please demands control. I let that part of me take control, happy to let it, knowing that it will give all the other parts of me some sense of peace. Maybe not peace, exactly, but a reprieve, nevertheless.

With his brute strength, Theo flips me over, my back landing harshly on dirt and stones and twigs. He hooks his fingers into the top of my corset and yanks, forcing my breasts to peek out of the top.

I blink up at him, reminding myself that sometimes he’s kind, that he stepped in to spare me from Hyatt’s raging, that he’s someone I might consider a friend if we ever interacted outside of service. But as he bends over me, planting his fists in the dirt on either side of my head, all I can see is a faceless foe.

Maybe somethingiswrong with me.

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