Page 84 of Beautiful, Violent

“Give or take what? A day? A week?” I can hear my own voice escalating. This can’t be happening.

Letting out a huff and running a frustrated hand through his hair, Rigger is about to get mad at me. But I don’t care. How could he keep this from me for so long?

“They kept giving me the run-around, couldn’t settle on a date for the transition. I didn’t want to tell you until I knew for sure.”

I fall back against my car, press my fingers to my temples. My phone beeps again. This explains why he’s been acting so weird. “Isn’t there something you can do?”

“Like?”

I toss my hands up. “Like tell them you can’t go? That you have commitments here? I don’t know …”

His mouth pulls into a thin line. “I’m committed to my job, Tove. They know that.Youknow that.”

Tears burn my eyes and my throat tightens. Everything inside of me hurts. I shake my head, like that will stop this from happening. And then I turn my back to Rigger because I don’t want him to see me like this. Crying because he’s leaving me. If he can just up and move and leave me, especially now, why would I give him the satisfaction of seeing how hurt I am?

“Tove, I’m sorry.”

I dab my eyes, stare at the palm tree in front of my car, its fronds shimmering as saltwater obscures my vision. A tear streams down my cheek and I swipe it away.

“Vay.” Rigger’s voice is in my ear, his hand on my shoulder. “Look at me.”

I go to hug my waist but he spins me around, pulling my body to his and holding me tight. I crumple, wrapping my arms around his waist as the tears fall one by one, soaking his shirt and causing it to stick to my face.

“Fuck,” he whispers. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

I clench my jaw, let a few more tears fall. What am I going to do without my best friend?

What am I going to do without my Rigger?

“Come with me,” he says, softly stroking the strands down my back.

I sniffle, the tears momentarily pausing. “What?”

He grips the sides of my face, cupping my cheeks in his hand as he looks me deeply in the eyes. “Fuck King. Fuck seeking revenge. Come with me. To Virginia.”

Feeling emotionally jolted, I stutter a few times. “But … I have …”

“But nothing. Just do it.”

“But …why? My dad is here, my career. Ben.” I’ve no clue why I bring him into the mix, the one guy who probably doesn’t give two shits about me. “My home is the desert. You know this, Rig. Why would you want me to—”

Rigger presses his lips to mine, tenderly silencing me. His fingers move to my hair and he groans easy as his tongue sneaks inside my mouth.

I don’t know what the hell is going on. But heat flares inside of me. Heat of anger, heat of lust, maybe a mixture of both.

I bend into the kiss, a gentle storm unraveling beneath my skin. It feels like someone has just plugged me into an electrical outlet, sparks bursting in all my cells.

And then I realize …Ben.

I put my hands on Rigger’s chest and push. “What are you doing?”

Heavy lidded and panting, he stares at me quietly. Then, “I’m taking a goddamn risk. And hoping to hell it doesn’t cost me.”

I step back a few paces, shaking my head as I look him up and down. I can’t believe him, can’t believe he’s doing this. Wanting me to give up on finding the one man—the only man—I really want dead.

“Yeah, well, hope is a four-letter word.”

I can see the hurt in his eyes before I spin around and get in my car.

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