Page 23 of Thrill Me (Dark Odyssey 3)

Right now though… I’m not sure I care for forgiveness.

Chapter Six

Mimi

I can’t gethim out of my head.

The last time I saw tears fall from Salvatore’s eyes was during that whole time of Frankie’s death.

From when we got word that it happened to the funeral.

This morning was the only other time I’d seen him look so distressed.

Distressed and enraged.

I’ve been worried since then about what he was going to do. I didn’t know if he was going to go after Gabe since he didn’t exactly promise he wouldn’t. He just said nothing and left.

It didn’t feel like the past whenever I’d ask him not to do a thing and he’d listen. It didn’t feel like that at all, but then… what did I expect?

I shuffle against the sofa as Gina comes out of the kitchen with a plate of sandwiches and a cup of hot chocolate.

She came over when I called her. I felt bad to take her away from her work during the middle of the day, but she insisted on coming.

“Please eat this, Mimi,” she says and sits opposite me.

“I can’t…” I shake my head. I haven’t eaten all day and it’s now going on six.

I’ve lost my appetite along with my will to do anything.

“Mimi, you’re not helping anybody by not eating. Don’t you have work later?”

“I do.”

“You gonna go?”

I nod. “Yeah there’s no point staying in and sulking. It would be foolish to do that. I don’t want this issue to affect me. It’s old news.”

“It’s not about it being old news Mimi. And fucking hell, it’s not even old news. We’re talking about last year. It was a big thing that happened to you and it affected you quite badly. You could have died Mimi.”

I’ve never thought of that part. The pain of losing my baby was so much that I never thought about how injured I was. You tend to forget your own pain when there’s a greater loss. What made it worse was me covering the bruises on my face from the accident with concealer and going back to the club pretending I’d had a cold.

That was shock and like I’d fucking lost my mind because I don’t know why I did that.

“I’m gonna say what I said last year again, although you won’t like me saying it… I think it may help you to speak to someone.”

I frown. “Like a therapist?”

“Yes, like a therapist.”

“No, God. Fuck… I don’t want a therapist. I don’t want to share my worries and shit. That would actually make me feel worse.” It would. Dad made me see a therapist after mom died and I hated it. I get why Gina wants me to see one, because what happened to me was quite bad but I just can’t. What I need is time and space to figure things out. “I know what I want and what I need.”

She shuffles and sits forward. “Mimi, I’m worried about you.”

“I know. I just feel like shit. I feel like shit for hurting him. He just deserved to know the truth.”

I wasn’t going to say anything. Last night was amazing and I almost believed I could do it. I almost believed I could be his doll.

Then I woke up in his arms this morning and fear hit me a hundredfold. The amazing night we shared just brought me so much closer to him than I could have imagined and the fear of that closeness struck me down like lightning.

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