Page 74 of Taunt Me (Dark Odyssey 2)

“Agreed.” Cordelia chimes in and tightens her grip on my hands.

“I want to see you and rebuild what we lost. Rebuild what we could have.” I look to Cordelia as I say that and she starts crying too and nods more vigorously.

I decided yesterday that this month can be about them too. I can give them the chance too. I don’t have to make the cut.

Make the cut…

With all that’s happened over the last few days and the intense emotion I’ve shared with Gabe it’s weird considering being away from everyone.

Being away from him. It was him that stood to feel the blow more than anyone else because I told him I couldn’t see him anymore.

“Can you stay for lunch?” Ma asks. “I can make your favorite.”

“I would love that. I’m with you tonight.” I declare and that brightens them up.

I planned to stay because it felt right to be with them for one more night.

I didn’t want to just uproot and leave them like that, so we can have this night together.

“I’m thrilled,” Ma beams.

“That means I’ll cook dinner. Something from Abuelita’srecipe book.”

I smile at the sound of that.

* * *

We have a nice day,the kind I used to dream about while I was in Italy. All that’s missing is Tony, Freddo and Abuelita.

I feel their presence though and for once, when I think of them I can cast my mind back to the good times.

It makes me reach for my diary and the little box Abuelitamade me.

There are ten years’ worth of mini envelopes to open, all sealed.

Each still waiting for me to break open on my birthday mornings.

I open the first envelope for what would have been my nineteenth birthday.

My hands still over the words Abuelita wrote:

I see darkness my child.I don’t know what it is but it’s so strong I can’t protect you from it. I can’t warn you away from it but I can tell you to remember the people who love you…

God…she was right.

She was so right. That was exactly what happened. The darkness came and no one could protect me.

Darkness is the best word to describe it as.

I’ve come to know darkness as the thing that swallows up hope. It sucks the life from you. Heart, mind, body and soul and destroys like poison taking you whole once it works its way into your system.

I open the others which read the same sorts of messages, all telling me to have hope. Everyone thought her words were just things she said and coincidence made them come true. I never stopped believing in her.

It’s hard reading the notes now and she’s not here.

It’s hard hearing her voice in my head as I read them.

My hands still over the last little envelope.

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