Page 36 of Without Me (Men of Inked 5)
tears in his eyes.
“When can I see her?” Ma asked as she kissed Joe on the cheek.
“They just need a little time and then everyone can go in and see them.”
“Do you have a name, son?” Pop asked as he stood beside Ma.
“Yes. It’s Giovanna Bianca.” He beamed as he said her name. He stood a bit straighter with his shoulders pushed back. The pride he felt at his new title of father was clearly evident.
“Gigi,” Ma whispered. “You named her after my mother.” She covered her mouth as she began to cry.
“We did.” Joe grabbed my ma and stared down at her. “It’s the perfect name for my little Italian princess.”
Joe went into graphic detail describing the birth of his baby girl. At times, I felt faint. I’d seen plenty of crazy shit. Hell, I’d seen things come out of a pussy that weren’t natural, but seeing a human being slide out, even a small one, was just wrong. He gushed over having been able to cut the umbilical cord and how a small piece of him would live on forever.
The entire time he spoke, I held Max’s hand as she listened and seemed totally enthralled. For a woman who didn’t want children, she was mesmerized and hung on every word.
Twenty minutes later, the family was given the go-ahead to see Suzy and Gigi. We let Ma and Pop go back first and spend time with the baby before we went in as a group.
“You doing okay, Max?” I asked as we waited.
“Yeah. I am,” she answered quietly.
“You seem off.” I stroked her hand as we sat side by side in the waiting room.
“I’m not. It’s just…”
“What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”
“Sometimes, I get sad when I think I’ll never be a mother.” She frowned as she stared down at our hands.
“You can be a mother. There’s nothing stopping you, Max.”
“I do not want to pass my bad genes on to a baby.”
I sat there a moment, thinking about what she’d said. I could understand it. No one wants to give their child a life filled with illness. There isn’t a person on the planet that has been guaranteed a lifetime of healthiness. We all experience some type of health issue in our life, whether it be cancer or some other ailment.
“Max, do you wish your parents never had you?” I asked her. It was the only thing I had thought to say.
“No.”
“Have you had a happy life?”
“Yes. For the most part, I have.”
“Even with knowing how your future could turn out, would you want it to end now?”
“No. Stop asking stupid questions.”
“Listen to me. Just because the baby would have a small chance of getting the gene doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be born. If you had said you wished your parents had never had you, then I’d agree with you. But you said you’ve had a happy life and you want to live. Maybe being a mother will bring you more joy than anything else in your life. Maybe you can have a healthy baby.”
She sighed and blew a puff of air through her lips. “I don’t know, Anthony. It’s a big decision. If the baby is born with the gene, I’d feel so guilty.”
“Do you want your parents to feel guilty about your life? Are you mad at them for having had you?”
I didn’t know where all of this was coming from. Six months ago, all I’d cared about was banging my way through life and living in blissful ignorance of love. Now, I was in deep. So far down that I couldn’t imagine a life without Max anymore.
“Of course not.”
“Then why would your baby feel that way about you? If you don’t wish you weren’t born, neither will they, no matter the outcome of their health. Nothing is guaranteed, Max. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and die.”
“What did you do with my boyfriend?” she asked as she peered up at me.
“Fiancé,” I said. “I don’t know what happened to me. You happened to me and mixed up my head.”
“I kind of miss my asshole sometimes, but times like this, when you’re so sweet and smart, I realize why I love you.”
“Why is that?” I was fishing for a compliment. Max wasn’t always so willing to hand them out. When she was in the mood, I made sure to get as much as I could.
“You have the perfect mix of asshole and lover. Just when I think you’ve hit your asshole streak, you come back saying such beautiful things that you make my heart melt.”
“And what does the asshole do to you? I know it’s that part of me that you were first attracted to.”
“He makes my panties melt,” she whispered, and bit her lip.
“Ahhh. I always knew that girls secretly wanted an asshole.”
I had known it. Even though they all said that they wanted the nice guy, they really wanted a mix. They wanted the asshole in the bedroom, banging their brains out, and the sweet guy the other times. I could be both. Fuck, I had been my entire life.
“I only want one asshole, Anthony.”
“I’m your man, then, Kitty Cat.” I grinned, bringing her hand to my mouth and kissing the top.
“Anthony and Max,” Joe said from the doorway as he watched us. “You want to see Gigi?”
“Hell yes,” I said.
We followed Joe down the hallway past a set of windows behind which little babies slept peacefully in their small plastic beds. They looked so sweet and quiet, but I remembered how loud a baby actually was, since I’d lived through the infancy of my siblings. Izzy had screamed the loudest and most. We should’ve known then that she’d be nothing but trouble.
I held Max’s hand as we entered the room. Suzy had Gigi in her arms as she looked up at us and smiled.
“Ah, look who came to see you, Gigi. It’s your asshole uncle, Anthony.” Suzy giggled.
“Don’t mind her,” Joe said as he patted my shoulder. “She’s on some pain meds from the birth.”
I chuckled, liking the calmer side of Suzy.
“It’s cool, man.” I patted him on the stomach and walked toward Suzy. “Can I hold her?” I asked, holding out my arms as I stood at her bedside.
“Sure.” Suzy gently placed her in my arms.
I sat down on the edge and cradled her. She was so tiny—much smaller than I remembered my siblings being. Maybe it was because I was bigger that she seemed that much smaller.
Gigi was wrapped in a pink blanket with one hand sticking out. Her long fingers moved as if searching for something. Holding her tight to my chest, I stared at her and instantly fell in love. Her straight, dark hair was like Izzy had when she was born—full and wild.
I bounced her lightly and touched her hand with my finger. Her tiny digits clamped down on my finger with force.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” Joe asked as he stood next to Suzy on the other side of the bed.
“She is,” I agreed, and looked at Ma. “Look how perfect she is.” I stared down at Gigi and rubbed the back of her hand in the same motion I used when I wanted to reassure Max. “It’s amazing.”
“Look at you getting all mushy, Anthony,” Suzy said, but I didn’t bother to look at her.
“She’s a Gallo. I have a right to be mushy.”
“God, she’s gorgeous,” Max cooed as she touched her cheek.
Gigi turned and tried to latch on to Max’s finger as she stroked her cheek.
“You can hold her if you want, Max,” Joe said.
For a moment, I felt a pang of jealously. I didn’t want to let her go. I wasn’t ready to share her with anyone else, even Max.
When Max said, “I’d love to,” and held out her arms, I gently handed her over.
I’d have a lifetime to spoil the little girl. I could be the cool uncle who bought her the best toys and let her run wild. I wanted to be that guy. I didn’t want to be the self-consumed douchebag I had probably been months ago.
As I scanned the room, I realized how much love I’d always had in my life. Suzy and Joe gazed at each other. Their love shined brightly and seemed to grow over time. I?
??d always secretly envied them for the way they loved each other. I hadn’t thought I’d find someone who would make my heart skip a beat until I’d met Max.
