Page 38 of Code of Courage

“What?”

“It’s just something I remember from Hesed, how helping people who couldn’t help themselves and can’t return the favor is very satisfying. I stopped working there two years ago and I miss it.” He saw Danni blush and shift uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry I pushed you away from—”

“It was my choice; I didn’t say that to make you feel guilty. Just thinking out loud.” He hoped she didn’t shut down.

She didn’t. Instead, Danni smiled, and Gabe felt as if his heart would burst.

“You and Hesed were a perfect fit. I know you did a lot of good there.”

“It was never a chore.”

“I remember once you said your mom wanted you to be a firefighter and not a cop. People always run toward the firefighters and run away from the cops. You never told me why you didn’t take her advice.”

“You never asked,” he said as he held her gaze, considering her question, feeling as if the two of them were connecting and it felt so much better than fighting. But he also felt uneasy. What if Danni did quit? What then?

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“There’s so much we never talked about. I guess I assumed you’d joined up like most guys, you know, to drive a black-and-white code3, lights and sirens.” She grinned and got a smile from Gabe.

Why had she never asked him this question? Why had they never talked about faith? Maybe this was a reason why she doubted he would stay with her—they never really talked and connected.

“Long story.”

“We have time.” Danni indicated the empty vet’s office. She thought she’d finalized the idea of quitting, taking early retirement, in her mind. Had she? She valued Gabe’s perspective and maybe, after everything they’d been through, his counsel.

Gabe chuckled at her question. “Yeah, my mom thought firefighters were more about helping people than cops and I might like firefighting better.”

“Yet you became a cop. Do you consider police work your calling?” Danni asked, posing a question she’d never thought to ask when they were married.

“Calling?” Gabe shrugged. “I knew I wanted to be a cop in junior high. Now I don’t know what else I’d be doing if I wasn’t in law enforcement.”

Danni went quiet and let him finish.

“I hate seeing weak people hurt.” He puffed out his cheeks as if he had something else to say but was hesitant.

“What? Tell me.”

“It’s a hard story to tell. Not my finest hour. In junior high there was this kid—Petey was his name. He was the typical weak kid—skinny, not athletic, thick glasses, always the target of bullies.”

“Were you a bully?”

“Not far removed, I’m afraid. A group of us walked to and from school every day. Petey was never with us, but he had to go the same way as us. Some of the guys I walked with were bullies. I never joined in, but I never tried to stop it either.”

“Peer pressure?”

“As good an excuse as any. I think Petey tried his best to avoid us, but every so often, our paths crossed. One afternoon it got bad. They teased and pestered the kid until he wet his pants. And then they laughed and laughed and laughed. They started calling him Petey Pee-pee like it was the funniest thing. I’ll never forget the shame and pain on his face.”

“What could you do? You were just a kid.”

“I wish I had done something. That day haunted me for years. Over the weekend Petey hung himself in his garage.”

Danni felt punched in the chest. “Oh, no way. How horrible.”

“Yep. I’ll never forget hearing the news. His parents were devastated. He was their only kid, thirteen years old. Anyway, fast-forward to high school. I was a sophomore and big for my age. I’d just made the varsity football team. In our first home game I caught the winning touchdown.”

“Such a stud,” she teased and didn’t miss the flush to his cheeks, though he brought his hand up briefly to cover it.

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