Page 98 of Forbidden

“I want to die so that the pain I have in my heart eases and I don’t have to face you anymore. But I also want to live to give you everything you always deserved. I don’t know if dying in pain is worse or living and seeing you hate me is? Please forgive me, Aarav.”

Her voice is thick with emotions. She joins her palms begging for forgiveness, and I have nothing to offer her except the mirror of her dark soul.

“My mother,” I say. My voice strains to be heard by Durga Raichand, who’s never talked about my mother before with anyone. “She never said a word against you. Never forced my father to fight against you nor she stood up for her rights. Yet, she suffered the most painful death yearning to see her son getting the rights in his family, the way he deserved.”

She stops sobbing to hear me out, but her tears don’t stop yet.

“If you had hurt me, I would still forgive you. But you hurt the woman who was my God!! My solace and my protector. I can never forgive you for those bruises you gave her, for the solitude she had been through, for the commitment she never got from her husband whomyoudominated.”

Her tears don’t stop, but I do. I think she knows enough that she won’t be forgiven. Not now.. Not ever!!

She tries to get down from the bed and I’m alert. The monitor beeps as she pulls out the connections from her arm.

“You should rest,” I insist, but she doesn’t listen to me and holding the stick that was kept next to the bed, she stands on her feet. “I said get back to the bed, Durga Raichand,” I shout this time, but she ignores me and walks with trembling feet to the closet.

I don’t understand this woman. She’s always been this egoistic and stubborn. I stride towards her but still keep enough distance between us. In case she loses her balance, I want to hold her. Humanity!! That’s all it is. I don’t have any other feelings for Durga Raichand. She opens the closet and removes an old photo frame. While closing the door, she stumbles and I reach to support her. I grab her arms and push away the stick. She doesn’t need it anymore as I help her get back to the bed. Holding her arm and making her sit on the bed gives me the feeling of holding someone dear to me. We might have hated each other but we share the bond of blood. I think she feels the same because now she watches me with pride and affection.

I pull away once I settle her in bed again.

“You are still so stubborn,” I snap. “Didn’t the doctor urge on bed rest? That means you are not supposed to get down from the bed for any silly reason.”

I am shouting at her, but instead of getting angry at me, she smiles. I connect the little wires on her hand again to get her vitals recorded on the monitor.

“I am not cracking a joke here that you smile. I don’t care what you do to yourself, but I think Mohit still needs you. Or wait-” I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Are you cutting off ties with him only because now you know he is not your grandson?”

Tears leaked down her face. I remember Jhanvi telling me to be sober and not fight with this woman here. But how could I control the monster which Durga Raichand created in me? Her selfishness and nasty behavior towards my mother have turned me blind even to her sickness.

“I don’t blame you,” she replies. “I have been selfish and self-centered all these years, but Mohit is not going anywhere. He insisted on walking out of my life after knowing the truth, but I can’t be that cruel to him. I have raised him. He will stay with me no matter what relationship we share or not.”

Well, I am glad that she is not kicking out Mohit because it’s evident from Mohit’s recent behavior that he is as guilty as Durga Raichand is for whatever wrong he did so far.

I finish connecting the wires to her arm, but the ones which she removed from her heart need to be done. I decide to send the nurse inside once I leave, but Durga Raichand holds my arm and makes me sit next to her.

“I got this from Mahendra’s old stuff.”

She hands me the photo frame, which she just removed from the closet. It’s an old picture of my parents’ secret wedding in the temple. They are in simple clothes, look young and so much in love. My mother is in a silk saree and Dad is in a brown kurta pyjama, both wearing rose garlands. My mother loved roses, and I have seen my father bringing her a rose each time he came to visit her. He never got tired of that, and she never failed to acknowledge how much she loved that gift from him. That’s one reason why I have a rose garden in the AR Mansion.In their memory.After knowing my father never loved any other woman apart from my mother, my respect for him grew. If only he could take a stand for my mother and give her that place next to him. There are so many ‘if only’ in my life which I know can never be fulfilled.

Durga Raichand’s voice draws my attention back to her.

“I know you won’t accept anything from me. Neither my growing affection for you nor a share of everything that belongs to your father. But this is yours.”

She presses my arm tight.

“This is the only picture of your parents together and I know how much that means to you.”

This picture from Durga Raichand and her understanding of how much that holds importance in my life, makes my heart soar. My chest aches as I untangle my arm from hers, and rising to my feet, I stride to the door, holding the photo in my hand and promising never to turn back.

“Won’t you tell me anything before leaving?” her voice wavers from behind me but I can hear her clearly. Does she still want to hear from me? To know what I really want? Fine!!

I look at her over my shoulder because whatever I am going to say next, she might not like to hear from her real grandson.

“I pray you live. For months and years. To grieve over your sins and with hope in your heart that someday, your Forbidden grandson forgives you. Forgiveness is earned, Durga Raichand. You and I both know that we wouldn’t waste it on charity.”

And with that, I open the door and walk out. Yes, I want her to live because if there’s a slight chance that I forgive her, it wouldn’t be this soon.

EPILOGUE

Aarav

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