“I have an ID Card, let me in!” a man screamed from her left, jumping to be higher than the crowd.
“We all have ID cards,” a woman’s shrill voice screamed from somewhere to the right.
There was a break in the crowd where the shoulders shifted enough to let Tessa see the gate. The entrance was sealed off with metal barricades and there were guard towers erected over the high arch of the structure with rifles pointed at the people gathered outside. This cannot be happening. Tessa pulled against Mason’s hand, backtracking their previous steps. No one was getting in through that set up and she didn’t want to stick around with the growing mob to figure out why.
“My shoe!” Emily cried and launched herself out of Tessa’s arm. Tessa lunged for her, trying to scoop her up in the chaos while crushing the bones of Mason’s hand.
“There are children out here! You have to let us in.” A frantic woman twice Tessa’s size with long blond dreadlocks grabbed Emily and lifted her into the air.
“Let go of my daughter!” Tessa screamed as she ripped at the woman’s back, grabbing a handful of the rope like locks and yanking down so the woman’s head was level with her spine. She released her grip on Emily and tried to spin around to face Tessa. But Tessa swept her daughter into her arms and took off running, dragging Mason by his hand before the woman could stand up straight.
“My shoes.” Snot poured down Emily’s face as she sobbed against Tessa’s shirt. More people were coming down from the exit ramp on the freeway, filing in like cattle towards the gate. Tessa pushed past them as she fought her way back through the growing crowd. Blood pounded in her ears and Mason’s hand was slick in hers. She adjusted her grip and yanked him through the tunnel and down the road toward the waiting truck.
Mason flattened himself against the door, looking wild-eyed in every direction as Tessa fumbled with the keys. Moose was barking like crazy with spit flying from his massive jaws. Some of the people coming down from the freeway thought better of their plan and turned towards the gas station instead. She didn’t wait to see what they were doing.
“Help her get buckled,” Tessa demanded as she shoved both kids inside the truck. Mason clicked Emily in and Tessa gunned it. The tires screeched as she sped across the parking lot.
“I want Daddy!” Emily was hysterical, snot and tears soaked her blotchy red face.
“I’m sorry,” Tessa choked out. “Mommy made a mistake.” Moose sighed and rested his jaw on Mason’s lap. Hot tears rolled silently down the boy’s cheeks.
“A lot of people are trying to get on base and it’s too much for the gate guards to handle so we’ll come back another time or Daddy will come to us.” She had to stop to breathe. Fix this for them somehow. “Can you guys sing me a song? I’m in the mood for some rock and roll.”
The kids were a stunned shade of passive as Tessa pulled into the driveway. A few rounds of her offkey singing the classics had elicited some giggles from them and made Emily stop crying, but the final quiet mile through the subdivision where curtains were closed on curious neighbors as they peeked out of their windows when Old Blue rumbled by was the final pull of emotions for the day. They could sense her defeat and she knew it.
“Pancakes for dinner?” Tessa asked, trying to bring the smiles back to their faces. Mason nodded, scratching Moose behind the ear, and Emily said nothing as she walked barefoot with her shawl dragging on the floor into the house.
“I’ll be right in.” Tessa motioned for Moose to follow Mason inside. The dog hesitated, staring at her with his soulful eyes and tail wagging. “Go,” she whispered and turned her back to him so the kids wouldn’t see her break. The click of the door closing brought tears that blurred her vision and her chest tightened as she struggled to breathe.
She took the few steps outside, sucking in air and willing herself to calm down. Get it together. You don’t have another choice. If Landon wasn’t coming, she had to get the kids out of here and somewhere safe. She needed to take them back home. Gravel crunched on the road and Tessa angrily wiped her hands over her eyes, but there was no way to hide the absolute wreck she’d become.
“How bad is it?” Arthur kept a respectful distance, standing in the street and not looking directly at her face.
“It’s bad.” Fresh tears sprung to her eyes. “There were maybe forty people and fifteen cars I counted this morning coming up north on I-15. It was double that number this afternoon. The main gate to base is overrun. It’s like everyone with an ID card is trying to get in and they locked it all down. I didn’t stay long enough to figure out why.” Her voice cracked and she ground her teeth to stop from screaming out the next words, “Someone grabbed Emily.”
“Is she okay?” He stepped closer with his fists clenched at his side. The instant concern for some child he just met made the guilt she felt so much worse.
Tessa lowered her face. “She’s fine. But I really messed up. I didn’t want to believe Landon isn’t coming back.”
“Why don’t you go talk to Sally? I’ll stay with the kids while you take some time to sort things out,” Arthur said softly.
“I’ll be alright.” She straightened her chin and wiped the tears from her eyes. “They need me and I can’t leave them.”
He glanced down at his worn boots and sighed. “This is a hard situation, but I want to believe he’s coming home for all your sakes.”
“Maybe he’ll still come home tonight. He can get a ride from someone.” She tried to sound hopeful but the words were hollow in her ears.
“Maybe. You come let us know if you need anything in the meantime, okay?”
Tessa nodded, holding her arms across her chest to keep herself together as she went to go start making dinner.
Her thoughts wouldn’t stop racing. Even as the kids slept peacefully in her bed and Moose’s loud snores echoed in the quiet room, she couldn’t turn her mind off to sleep. Every creak of the house, the slight shift of the wind rustling through the cracks in the windows, set her back on high alert. She prayed that every sound was Landon and imagined she could hear the turn of the key in the lock. But when she glanced down at Emily’s thick eyelashes fluttering with childlike dreams, she knew she couldn’t afford to think like this much longer.
The bed groaned when she climbed out of it and she stood waiting in the moonlight for one of the kids to stir. Finally, her shoulders relaxed and she reached for the pistol. Moose opened one lazy eye to see if it was breakfast time.
“Stay,” she whispered and closed the door softly behind her.