Page 24 of Drunk on You (Hope Town 4)

"There really isn't much to tell, Em. We're dating. Seeing where this attraction between us goes." Not a lie. No reason to feel guilty. But I do. I hate keeping things from her. She's been my best friend for so long, and we have no secrets between us. "There's no reason to get all worked up about it, girlfriend."

"Are you nuts?! This is the first guy you've dated at all since that jerk. I think it's more than enough of a reason to get worked up!"

"You're insane." I laugh.

"Are you going to sleep with him?"

"Uh ..." I evade.

"You've already slept with him!"

The baby starts crying after her outburst, and I wait for her to calm her before speaking.

"Get any louder and I'm sure the whole town will know. Jeez, Em, calm the crazy down a few notches."

"You know, I'm not blind just because I'm married. I've seen how he moves his body when they're dancing at Dirty. Don't even try to act like you're shocked I'm curious about how he moves off the bar and between the sheets."

"I bet said husband would love to know you're asking about how his best friend can move."

She makes a pfft sound before she snorts again. "Nate isn't jealous like that."

"Yeah, and the sky is brown."

"Whatever."

I swipe another layer of gloss on my lips while my eyes roam over my face to make sure my makeup is perfect. Not even when I first started dating Seth did I put this much work into looking my best. "Do you think it's normal for me to keep comparing him to Seth?" I ask, not liking that it keeps happening but not experienced enough to know if it's normal.

"I wouldn't know, hon," Ember replies, no longer sounding manic in her excitement. "I'm about as well-versed as you are in the relationship department. When Nate and I first started seeing each other, I did the same thing, though, so I think it's normal. Or when you haven't had a lot of experience, it is."

"Or we're just naive to how all this works."

"You were with Seth for a long time, Nik. Not only that, but you haven't dated since y'all broke up, so I think it's just the natural course for anyone in the same situation. Does Shane know about Seth?"

I wince. I can't tell her just how much he knows, and I hate that. "Yeah."

"If you're worried about it, be honest about it with him. He deserves to have a fair fight with whatever hang-ups Seth left you with. Talk it out and let him show you that he isn't like Seth, the jerk."

"We've already been there," I say softly. "This morning, over him waiting on me to eat, of all things."

"This morning, huh?"

"Oh, hush."

"Tell me what happened."

I replay my break

fast with Shane, only leaving out the talk about our 'relationship' but giving her the rest. Including my near panic-inducing moment about cold freaking eggs. Ember knows just how nasty things got with Seth, so I don't have to go into much detail.

"You know, if it was legal to kill someone, that asshole would be the first person I shanked."

"How do you even know what shanking someone means?"

"I watch Wentworth on Netflix; I could be scrappy in prison. Don't think the thought hasn't crossed my mind a time or two with that guy."

"You wouldn't last an hour in prison." I laugh.

"To answer your earlier question," she says, ignoring me, "in situations like that, I think it's normal. You did the right thing by talking to him about it. Letting him know why you had that moment and giving him a chance to ease your mind. Shane's a good guy, Nik. He's going to treat you well."

"Yeah, he is."

"Don't give Seth any power in what you're starting with Shane," she tells me after a moment of silence. "He has no right to something like that. If you're reminded of the bad memories he left you with, you let Shane give you the words to make it good. Holding on to that will only keep you from moving on."

"Easier said than done."

"It is, but you have a few people ready to lift you up if you need it. You know that."

My eyes sting, and I feel even more guilt over keeping the complete truth from her. "I love you, sister from another mister."

"Right back at you, Nik."

"Give my goddaughter a kiss for me, okay?"

"I will. And you call me first thing tomorrow and tell me how the date went!"

I laugh, agree, and wait until she says bye before cutting her off. "Hey, Em?"

"Yeah?"

"If you thought how he moved on the bar was hot, what he can do in the sheets should be illegal."

I hang up the phone but not before I hear her screaming. I'll pay for that, I'm sure, but after hearing way more than I wanted to about her husband's skills, it's only fair.

I almost trip when I walk out of the bathroom and my foot gets tangled in all the clothes I had been trying on before finally giving up on finding an outfit and moving to tackle my hair and face. Why am I making such a big deal about dinner? It's not like this is a real date. Just two people enjoying the mutual benefits of each other's company while having dinner. Right?

This is insane. If I don't drive myself mad with my need for what he can do to my body, I'll do it by constantly worrying about keeping myself on the straight and narrow where this 'relationship' is concerned. Constantly having to remind myself it's not real will only make it harder for me to actually pretend.

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