Page 55 of Drunk on You (Hope Town 4)

And it sucks.

"I love you, Em, but I need to get going. I want to hit the road before lunch so that I'm there before the afternoon rush with traffic. I promise, I'm okay."

"I still don't like it. Remember, I know how to shank."

"You don't need to shank anyone."

"I've been eyeing my toothbrush all morning, Nik. I know what I need to make things happen."

I laugh again because my best friend is the best.

"Keep it up and I'm going to call Nate and tell him you need to be in time-out from Netflix."

"Promise, Nicole. You'll call me when you get there and every damn hour so I know you're okay. I don't want you up there all alone if you need me. Mom already said she would keep Quinnie if I wanted to go with you."

"You told her?"

She's silent, and I know she told me more than she meant to.

"How much did you tell her?"

"Uh, on a scale of what to what?"

"On a scale of she's made for the sisterhood or she's told your dad and he's ready to go kill someone for hurting one of the girls he considers under his protection?"

She might as well have just said what her silence was screaming. "Tell me Emmy at least made sure to hide his guns and anything sharp?"

"I'm relatively sure nothing was within reach, if that helps."

"You know, I feel sorry for whoever your sister ends up with. Now that you're married, Maddox only has her to focus on."

She giggles. "He's even worse now with Quinnie. She's one lucky little girl."

"Excuse me? You didn't exactly feel lucky when you were on the other end of Maddox Locke's over-the-top protectiveness."

"True, but she's my baby, and I see where he was coming from now."

"Just tell me your dad isn't going to make this even more difficult for Shane? I want him to figure things out because he wants to, not because someone strong-arms him with their scary glares and growling threats."

&nbs

p; "HA!" she exclaims. "That's funny. Dad does growl when he's getting all over the top, doesn't he? Don't fret, Nik. Shane's safe from my dad. Plus, Nate took care of that."

I think back to last night, remembering the redness around his eye. I had been too conflicted with my thoughts to put two and two together, but I should have known.

"Are they okay?" I ask in concern, hoping that Shane and Nate's friendship and business partnership doesn't get weird because we're ... whatever we are.

"You know how it is. Nate loves you like his own sister. You're worried about my dad doing something, but keep in mind, Nate was raised by those very same over-the-top men. Shane knows he screwed up." I can practically see her waving her hands in the air while she talks.

"What a freaking mess," I huff, zipping up my bag of toiletries and tossing them in the duffle bag with my other bathroom products and styling tools. You would think I was moving with the amount of crap I have packed up, but with the unexpected early departure, I basically tossed all my packing lists out the window. What a freaking mess, indeed.

"I love you," Ember says, no longer holding the strong emotional rage she had been exhibiting since I called her thirty minutes ago.

"I love you back. I'll call you later, okay?"

We get off the phone, and I make quick work of finishing my packing. Since I didn't have time to get the provisions that Shane and I had planned to get before heading up later this week, I needed to do about a million other things before locking myself away, so I didn't waste a second throwing all my crap in my car and hitting the road.

I know he'll come after me. After he figures out where I am, that is.

I just need to give myself enough of a head start that I'm able to take some time and figure out what I'm going to do when he does.

Do I settle and take the man who makes me drunk with every mixed drink of emotion, knowing I can love him enough for the both of us ... or do I hold my ground and demand what I know I deserve?

All of him.

* * *

1 my heart

2 you had all of me - roughly translated from 'you have my being'

IT'S BEEN TWO FUCKING DAYS. Two days of nothing but silence from Nikki. I've called her over and over, left numerous voicemails--so many I've lost track of what I said in the majority of them--and now her phone no longer gives me the option to leave one. I've done nothing in those two days but frantically try to find her and get lost in my own head. One thing I've been successful in, though, is seeing the enormity of what she had said before leaving the other night.

After the first twenty-four hours without Nikki, I knew the one thing I had been too blind with my past to see and, for the first time since my mom died, I knew I wasn't the one in control of my future. There was no way I could take back the reins either because the only way I would ever be able to find a way to ease the torment in my mind was to hand them over to the woman who owns them.

On top of everything being tits up with Nikki, my best friend hasn't spoken to me about anything other than what was necessary for Dirty, and my sister hasn't taken my calls since she found out Nikki and I got in a fight. Like I'm not beating myself up enough? They are the only two people who I had known over the years and could always count on, but it was clear they knew what I couldn't see yet. It was their silence that helped me see what Nikki had been telling me before she left too.

I knew the second I realized she wasn't sitting at the bar anymore that she had seen what I had been struggling with for weeks. I also knew instantly I fucked up. I fucked it all up. And I'm the only one who can put it all back together.

---