Page 62 of Kayden: The Past
Sophia began to cry, and I stood there in awe. She’d given me a boy, delivered him safely to me, and we were forever part of another human being. We’d be together forever somewhere on this planet, passed along to the generations. “It’s a boy. I knew it would be,” Sophia said.
I couldn’t stop the flood of tears as I looked at our baby. To create a life is the most amazing thing in the world. To watch the woman you love bring that life into the world is indescribable. I cried the day our baby was born—my heart finally felt complete. I was whole again.
“You were right, Sophia. I couldn’t be any happier than I am right now.” I watched as they carried our baby boy over to a small table and started checking him and cleaning off his tiny body. His screams filled the air, and I stood there and didn’t move. I almost held my breath and was scared to blink, thinking the sight in front of my eyes would vanish and be a dream.
“Hey,” Sophia said as she squeezed my hand. I looked at her and smiled. “He’ll be okay. It’s normal he’s crying. Don’t worry, love.”
I leaned over and placed a kiss on her lips. “You’ve given me everything I’ve ever wanted, Sophia. You’re the world to me, and my life’s complete. A boy, Sophia, a boy,” I said in amazement.
“I love you, Kayden.” She stared into my eyes as I backed away from her lips. “We need to pick a name.”
“I didn’t spend too much time on boy names. I was sure as shit the baby was going to be a girl,” I said.
“Well, I like Jett or Tristan,” she said.
“Tristan brings too many images of Brad Pitt on a horse. Jett sounds badass. I like it.” I kissed her forehead and watched as the doctor approached with a calmer baby in his arms.
“Who’d like to hold him first?” the doctor asked.
“Go ahead, Kayden,” Sophia said as she pushed my arm away from her.
“You sure?” I asked.
“Yes.”
I didn’t ask her again. I held out my arms as the doctor placed Jett in them. Relief flooded my body as I stared at the small baby with pure white skin and dark brown hair. He had a head of hair like his mom, but his eyes were closed. I touched his hand, and his fingers moved. I held them between my fingers and couldn’t believe how tiny he was. I sat down next to Sophia with him in my arms.
“I love you, baby boy. I’ve waited a lifetime to meet you.”
I thought my life changed forever when Sophia pulled into my apartment parking lot, but I was wrong, as usual. Jett turned everything right-side up. Sophia had given me the greatest gift and brought joy into my life. I’d do anything for her. She’d asked me months before his birth to see a counselor, and I’d agreed.
I’d stopped drinking long before her pregnancy, not wanting to chance losing Sophia. No drink in the world was worth that risk. She deserved better than that. Counseling helped me identify my triggers—women and trust issues stemming from my father. Writing out my life story helped the counselor and me to reflect on the journey that’s my life. It was all a choice. I chose to drink, do drugs, and wallow in my own self-pity. I wanted my life back.
Sophia gave it back to me and showed me the light. She made me find my way back to my true self, the one I always portrayed on the outside but didn’t believe I was during the dark times in my life.
I’ve been sober for well over a year. Does liquor still call my name? Yes. It’s an addiction for a reason, but I fight every urge that comes my way. I don’t crave a drink because things are fucked up in my life but because my body craves it, but I don’t need it. Liquor can fuck off and go ruin someone else’s life. For once, I’m content and happy with Sophia and Jett in my future.
