Page 8 of Wolf Heart

How much longer? I’m ready to be done with the ceremony and ready to be mated to Michael.

After what feels like an eternity, the ritual continues. Everyone softens their voices to murmurs while the elders’ voices rise, but it holds some sort of magic. I can feel my heart beating faster and the humming of the wolves’ voices sounds all around me.

“We must all first see the wolf in us,” the elder woman says, then pauses and throws herbs onto the flames. Black smoke rises from the fire. "Close your eyes and see your wolf inside."

I follow the instructions and my heart hammers like it’s going to burst out of my chest.

The world stops, I focus on feeling my wolf, and then everything is awash with red.

I run, the rest of the world frozen.

I race over a hill, my paws hitting the ground with a splat.

And then I’m running in a forest.

But it’s not this forest and I'm not in my human form.

I’m aware of every sound, every wet leaf, and every snapped twig. Too many scents clash in my nose. The air is rich with the smells of rain and forest: the wet leaves, the odor of decomposition, the scent of prey.

A deer has a unique, almost perfume-like aroma.

I’m hunting.

I crouch low behind a log, looking at my prey: the deer.

Its legs freeze still, then it takes off running, but I’m faster, and I’m right behind it. With a loud growl, my sharp claws slice into its flesh, drawing blood that stings my nose. I can feel the blood on my face and taste it on my tongue.

The taste is salty, fresh meat, and adrenaline. Blood slides down my throat and fills my stomach.

But there’s something wrong. My stomach heaves and twists. I haven’t shifted at all. I’m still human.

My face contorts and my muscles begin to twitch. I want to scream, but I no longer have a voice. I will the pain if it will bring out my wolf. Except it’s not happening. It’s like I’m stuck in a never-ending loop of agony.

My eyes snap open and everyone around the bonfire is staring at me. I’m on the ground, writhing in pain as my wolf fights to break free, but can’t. My skin ripples and it feels like someone is raking hot coals under my flesh. I whimper, wanting it to stop.

“Relax,” an elder says kneeling beside me.

Is she shitting me? All my muscles are on fire. All my bones shatter at once, then re-heal and jerk back in place only to redo it all again. Yet through it all, I don’t shift. I don’t become my wolf and she remains trapped inside me and I don’t know how to break the chains that keep her imprisoned.

I am so close to transforming that I swear I can taste fur and blood on the back of my throat. Everyone is staring at me with a mix of horror and pity.

“M-Michael,” I manage to get his name out. He can help me. He can bring out my wolf and bring this pain to a joyous ending.

Sweat coats my body and my mouth feels like it’s been stuffed with bloody cotton balls. I gag, trying to breathe, trying to wrestle past the agony that rips through me.

Cool fingers touch my forehead and the pain ebbs. I open my eyes to Darla, the pack healer, staring down at me in concern.

I pant, catching my breath. “Thank you.”

“Juniper,” she whispers like she’s about to give me really bad news. “I-I don’t think your wolf is ready.” Her raven black hair hangs down below her shoulders. Her skin is pale in the moonlight and the glow of the fire makes her freckles stand out.

“What?” I shake my head, lifting up on my elbows and the world spins. I fight back nausea rolling through me. “No, no, you’re wrong. I-I felt her. She just needs to be claimed. Michael—”

And suddenly he’s there next to me with a frown on his face. He takes my hand and there’s a huge gasp as my pack watches.

He helps me to stand on shaky legs. This is it. He’s here now and everything is going to be fine now. He’ll claim me and my wolf will be free. All my pain vanishes making me sigh in relief.

“You can’t shift?” he asks like it’s the most foreign thing in the world.

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