Page 89 of The Summer I Loved

CHAPTER THIRTY

Cam’s eyes were still full of the intermittent blue and red lights. His ears still rang with the curses straight from his father’s mouth. He could still feel the stiffening of Adri’s body and the panic in her mother when Walter threatened to expose them.

In the end, his father was the one locked up in a cell in Acacia Falls. Chase had left the laptop there for him, with the replaced hard drive. It had been Cam’s pleasure to tell Walter to let the cops check the device at his own risk.

The sign forExit fifty-four came into view and he closed his eyes in a silent prayer of thanks. They were almost home. He couldn’t wait to go to bed and fall asleep with his arms wrapped around his daughter and Adri. It was no longer enough to hold Bron’s hand while she dozed on the ride back. He couldn’t see her beautiful little face. It was buried on her mother’s chest.

Adrianna contortioned her body to cocoon Bron’s. She dropped kisses on her head every so often. Lauren kept turning to look back at them. Even Chase was driving at the speed limit and kept meeting his eyes in the rearview mirror. His father had done a number on them.

He couldn’t face everyone’s weariness anymore, not even his own. He looked out into the street as they navigated their way into the square. Chase let them out in front of the bistro and went to look for parking. Adrianna took her time disentangling from Bron soCamcould carry her upstairs. Lauren used her key to open the door for them.

Her gaze lingered between Adri and Bron but she looked at him. “I’m going to make sure everything is tidy for tomorrow. I can bring you guys dinner.”

Adrianna shook her head. “I’ll settle her and come help you.”

“No, just stay with her. I can handle it.”

Adrianna started to protest. “It’s not fair to you—"

“Shut up and go be withLa Princesa. I got this. Just hold her for me.” Lauren shot Cam a pointed look and tilted her head upstairs.

If he went up with Bron, Adri would have no choice but to follow. Cam started up the steps, making his way in quick strides. Soon, Adrianna’s footsteps tapped their way up behind him.

He stepped back at the top so she could open the door for him. Her place was in darkness since they’d left while it was light out. She moved around quickly, turning on the lights, and he followed all the way to Bron’s room. He placed her in the bed and removed her shoes while Adri worked on taking off her zip-up jacket. She also took off the tie from her hair and massaged her fingers into their daughter’s head. Bron sighed and turned into her pillow, her knees coming up until she was almost in a ball.

It made Cam smile. She was asleep and unscathed and unaware of the tears that’d dropped close to her on the bed. His heart shriveled at the soft shake in Adri’s shoulders and the almost careless way she swiped the wetness away from her eyes. He put a hand on her shoulder, wanting to tell her it was all over. She shook her head, pressed a kiss to Bron’s forehead and sprang from the bed. She pulled the covers over their little girl, lingered for a few seconds, then put her jacket and shoes in the closet.

She left the room and went into her bedroom, pulling out her nightgown.

“Talk to me, Adri,” he asked.

“I can’t. Not now. I’m going to sleep with her tonight.”

His stomach iced, sending a chill through his body. He shook it off. It was only normal. She’d gone through a big scare. She needed to be close to Bron. But why did it feel like a lot more than that? There was so much emotion for Bron but she’d barely looked at him since it was all over. Maybe she was blaming him for this. God knows he blamed himself for not giving Walter the money and preventing them from going through this.

“Look, I know this was my fault and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you and just gave the money—”

She held up a hand. “No, you were right about not giving the money. He would’ve never left you alone. My situation would have always been leverage. I was wrong and you were right about that.”

He should have been relieved but there was something, a finality to her words, a fucking “but”that didn’t gel. It made his skin antsy.

“Then what is it, Adrianna?Why does it feel like there is so much more you’re not saying? You won’t even look at me.” His voice was harsh to his own ears, matching his mood and uncertainty.

She flinched and turned sad eyes on him. “Because there is. This wasn’t about Walter. He has an amazing ability to capitalize when we fuck up. And that’s because we always fuck up. And it’s always mostly my fault. You’ve only been a dad for less than a month. I’ve been a mother for almost ten years. I shouldn’t lose sight of what’s important. I shouldn’t react first and think second. I shouldn’t be acting like a fucking hormonal teenager who can afford to have outbursts and stomp out of the room after a fight with my boyfriend.”

He opened his mouth, sensing where she was going but she plowed on.

“But I do. Because it’s you. Because I always lose my senses around you. Because I’m so crazy in love with you and that’s getting in the way of me being a responsible mom. A month ago, all I had was her and I feel like now I’m losing sight of that.”

He staggered back. “What the fuck are you saying?”

She pressed her lips together. “I can’t do this with you. I’m not going to make another big mistake that messes up her life because we can’t control our anger or jealousy. It’s not healthy. She’s the most important person in my life and I can’t risk her. Not even for you.”

His vision blackened, like the time he’d taken a ball to the head during an inter-league game. The floor seemed to go out from under him. She was breaking up with him.Because she blames you. She just didn’t want to say it.

Rage and heat sprang up his body. He opened his mouth, intending to tell her to have the guts to accuse him to his face. That she should just acknowledge it and they could begin to work through it. But one look at her and it all suddenly died inside him: the anger, the venom, the hurt.

Her hunched shoulders and tear-stricken face sent ripples of pain through his body. He couldn’t add to it. When they were mad, they could get nuclear, like she said, and he wasn’t going to do that to her.

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