Page 45 of Some Nights

13

Jax

My muscles are screaming from working on the kitchen. We are sitting on the living room floor on cushions watching the game. I’m in my sweatpants and Saona’s sitting between my legs in a pair of my boxer briefs and one of my old T-shirts. It’s been like our usual days when I talked to her on Facetime while I’m working on the house. Except, she’s here passing me stuff or bringing me water or sitting on the windowsill, telling me what to do.

And making me uncomfortable. Not bad uncomfortable but weird. It’s so normal, it should freak me out. It doesn’t and that’s bothering me too.

I can’t put my finger on whatever it is but since this morning when we left the warehouse, something’s different. I keep asking myself what it is but I end up getting caught up in her all over again.

“So, your dad was a doctor but he drove a yellow cab and shopped in thrift stores?” I need to make conversation to shut off the churning in my head.

Saona laughs and throws more popcorn chicken into her mouth. She picks another piece and brings it up to my lips without turning around.

“He was a doctor in the Dominican Republic but life was hard over there and he and my mom decided to come live here. He didn’t know much English so he couldn’t practice here. He had to take a job as a cab driver andMamihad to work sewing in a factory.”

“That must have been hard for them.”

“It was butPapiwasn’t a dweller or a complainer. He was a doer and an optimist. He was always smiling and telling us being surly and mopey gets you nowhere. Being active and positive was his thing. Sierra and I loved spending the weekends with him after he and Mom split up.”

Her voice drops at the end.

“You still miss him.”

“Every day. When he died everything changed. We changed. Sierra became rebellious and I turned to school.”

“School?”

“Yeah, I didn’t have my sister’s personality and God was I an awkward-looking kid.” She laughs. “The only way to keep my mom off my back was to always be studying or reading something.”

“I want to see photos.” I reach for my beer and take a swig.

She settles back against my chest and looks up. “Hell no. You were probably born with those arms and washboard abs.”

“No one’s born like that. It takes a lot of sweat and pain.”

Her eyes light up and she rubs a hand down my thigh. “Pays off.”

I kiss her temple and return the favor by sneaking my left fingers through the fly hole of the boxer briefs she’s wearing. I press light caresses against her but don’t do much else. She tilts her head to me and I brush my lips against hers.

“Let’s save this ‘til after the game. I want to end your last night here with a bang.”

She shoves me.

Her phone vibrates next to her and the word ‘Mami’ appears on the screen. She picks it up and sends a voice message in Spanish. I catchI know, I’m sorry,will be thereandtomorrow. The Rosetta Stone lessons I’ve been listening to are paying off.

She discards the phone again and grabs her beer but I don’t miss the sigh she tries to stifle.

“Everything okay?”

She nods against my chest. “My mom’s just difficult. She’s never happy or satisfied. All she does is nag and demand. It’s sad that Sierra and I avoid her as much as we can, but she’s too much. It’s why she and my dad split up. She doesn’t get that money isn’t everything, but kept pushing him to make more until he couldn’t take it.”

My spine stiffens because that’s it. Money. That’s what’s bothering me. She saved me money today and said nothing about my ridiculously low budget. She must know how little I have. And why is she slumming it here in a house with barely any furniture when she has a luxury hotel room? I mean, I make her come like crazy but what about the in between? She could’ve convinced me to hang out with her elsewhere.

Why am I even worrying about all this stuff? She’s going back to New York tomorrow.

Maybebecauseshe’s going back to New York tomorrow.

“I don’t make much either. Not like I think you do. That’s why I need the second job.”

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