Page 62 of Fall for Me

“Good, yes, let’s go,” I said, hustling for the front door and dragging Jude along with me.

“I’ll remind Jamie to call!” Joyce said, waving us off.

I held my breath until we were back out in the crisp autumn air.

“What the hell was that?” Jude asked.

“Nothing. I’m just hungry,” I said.

He eyed me strangely. Jude knew something was up, but I was already walking at a clip toward Betsey’s.

* * *

Thankfully, Jude was too excited about the conversation he’d just had with Seamus’s dad to linger on my hasty getaway. I let him chatter all the way to the restaurant, right up until we were placing our order. Normally if I was in emotional turmoil, I might find Jude’s upbeat attitude annoying, but now I was grateful to have the space filled and my mind taken off what had just happened with Seamus.

Jude told me that Mr. Reilly—who he was calling Jamie as if they were old friends—had let drop that his grandfather was a codebreaker in World War Two.

It wasn’t even close to what I’d been expecting him to say. My expression must have shown how flummoxed I was because he’d clarified, saying Mr. Reilly—Jamie—still had some of his grandfather’s books on the subject.

Books he’d written.

The cipher. Eleanor. Room 114. The thing Jude wanted to talk to me about over lunch. I’d been so wrapped up in everything with Seamus, I’d completely forgotten.

It was only then I remembered Seamus had been the one to tell my brothers that the gobbledygook in the book was likely a cipher.

“So codebreaking runs in the family?” I asked. I hoped I sounded excited enough that Jude wouldn’t notice—though the topic interested me, my mind wasn’t present. It was like I’d left it back there in Seamus’s office, entirely entangled with my heart.

I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I’d set such clear boundaries for myself—no getting involved with anyone. And my motivation to figure out my life was strong—I still wanted that so badly. But Seamus was a wrinkle I hadn’t expected. More than a wrinkle—he was a whole… pleat.

I was so lost even my analogies were getting weird.

All I could think about was Seamus’s arms, lifting me off my feet.

His tongue, probing my mouth.

The intensity of his eyes on mine when I pulled away.

Something raw and rife with heat ran through me.

But I had to stop thinking about what had just happened. I had to, or I might go running back to that office.

Luckily Jude was so excited about the potential to crack the code in the cipher, he kept going all the way to dessert, when I finally put my hands up. “Okay, Jude, this is all awesome, but I also wanted to know how Jack is doing. After… you know.” I gently touched the bandage on my face, and Jude nodded.

“Hey, I’m really sorry again about him freaking out like that,” Jude said.

“No, I’m not looking for apologies. I really just want to make sure he’s okay.”

Jude smiled. “He’s good. We had a long talk about it and I explained that you have a big ouchie. I… may or may not have shown him the photos.”

I gasped. “Wait, that’s what you wanted the photos for?”

“Not just that! The human body is awesome. But I started showing him photos of wounds, working our way up from small scratches to…” he glanced at me. “Bigger ones. I took it slow so I wouldn’t scare him, telling him to say stop when he’d had enough. But it worked—we talked about injuries and healing. He’s seen my scars. He even brought photos of my knee—healed, of course—to show and tell.”

I let out a relieved breath. It was strange parenting, but it wasn’t bad. It might even be smart. I felt my senses come back to a semblance of equilibrium. I would have loved to see my nephew again, but after our last encounter, I wasn’t sure the feeling would be mutual. But now, if he wasn’t scared of me, it might be possible.

I felt a lump form in my throat at Jude’s thoughtfulness. He’d been actively working to help his son accept me as I was now. My eyes grew wet with tears.

Jude’s own grin faded, his face growing serious. “Shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

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