Page 30 of Fall for Me

Chelsea

Seamus rubbed his temples with the fingers of his left hand as he held my phone against his ear. Maybe it wasn’t kind of me to pass the phone to Seamus, but I couldn’t deal with Eli right now. Plus, I knew my brother would probably just get in his truck and drive right over here if I didn’t.

It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Seamus, I knew. It was that he didn’t trust me. Indignation bloomed hot in my cheeks. I was a grown woman.

One who’d given no one a reason to trust me.

Still, I was sick of my siblings controlling my life—or trying to.

But I made an effort to relax. Seamus was Eli’s best friend. He knew how to handle him.

Seamus strode away from the ridge. Eli’s voice still raged through the earpiece, though I couldn’t hear his words. Then Seamus seemed to consider something. He came back and took my hand.

For a moment, my stomach fluttered. What was he—

He pulled me back onto the grass. He wasn’t looking at me—he was listening to Eli. But he wanted to keep me away from the edge. Maybe I should have been insulted, like he didn’t trust me, but it didn’t feel like that. He was moving me away from the edge because it was dark.

Dangerous.

And he wanted me safe.

Then Seamus walked away from me.

“She’s fine,” I heard Seamus’s voice, that rolling gravel sound riding on the breeze toward me. He was over by the edge of the clearing now, his back to me, and really, I should turn away, look back out at the beautiful view. The moon was bright, nearly full. But for some reason, I couldn’t stop watching Seamus.

He was wearing a cable-knit sweater and work khakis—I knew he ran a contracting business with his dad—but this looked like a blend of office and outdoor wear. In that sweater, he looked more like some kind of fisherman. A handsome Irish fisherman just come home from sea.

Seamus grasped the back of his neck with his hand and looked over at me as he spoke, too low for me to hear. In the shadows, I couldn’t quite see his face. But suddenly, I was blasted with a memory. Only a brief flicker, like a cut-off video clip, but so clear it took my breath away.

It was the night of the crash. Seamus was driving the truck. Me feeling loopy next to him, and something else, too. A deep, dark self-loathing running under the loose avoidance of my tipsiness.

I knew Seamus had swooped in and taken me away from the bad decision I’d been about to make by getting into Mia’s car that night. He knew I’d been about to do something stupid. That I should maybe care about what happened to me.

But there had been another feeling that night, I remembered now. I’d been angry with him for thinking he knew better than me. And… oh god. Shame flooded through me. I’d wanted him to get in trouble with Eli. I’d wanted to exert some control over my life by hurting him. I wanted to hurt Eli, for thinking he knew best.

“Seamus,” I said. “Let me talk to him again.” I couldn’t fix what I did, but I could tell Eli to back off now. I could just tell him the truth. That would be enough. I strode over to Seamus just as he turned around, and I realized I’d come too close. For a moment I stumbled back, and Seamus reached out to steady me, his broad hand spreading across my back.

Eli was still talking, but I could see now that Seamus’s attention was on me. We were so close I could smell him. The homey, wool smell of his sweater. The spice of some kind of shampoo or deodorant.

Him, warm and clean and good.

I should have stepped back, but I was frozen to the spot. God, he was so tall, everything about him so long. I’d felt the way my hand had been enveloped by his. But I didn’t really grasp the sheer size of him, the length of his limbs; his tapered fingers making my phone look half its size.

A soft, prickling heat ran through me.

It hadn’t all been about lashing out that night. I’d wanted him, too.

Seamus’s eyes were still on mine, his hand still on my back.

“Yeah, she’s okay. I think it’s just quiet out here,” Seamus said. If he didn’t still have my phone to his ear, I’d have thought he was speaking to me. “Hell, you come out here when you need a break, Eli.”

Seamus dropped his hand, as if realizing it was still pressed against me.

He turned away from me too quickly.

I wanted to grab his hand, to make him turn around and hold me like that again. The feeling was so strong I had to fold my arms to keep from doing it.

But I wasn’t the same flirtatious, fake-carefree girl I was before, was I? The one who could snag any single guy at the bar, if only for a brainless make-out session. Now? Where did I get off thinking Seamus might still even have any attraction for me? Pain ran through me, only it wasn’t just physical this time. I would never be that person again. That part of my life was over now. But good riddance. I didn’t want to be her anymore.

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