Page 79 of His Heart

“The worst part is what I did to Sebastian,” I said. “I really hurt him.”

“So, you and Sebastian are like…” She raised her eyebrows. “Right?”

“What, together?” I asked. “No. We’re just friends.”

“Hmm,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. “You sure about that?”

I took a sip of tea to give myself a second before I answered. “Of course I’m sure. I think I’d know.”

“Nothing has happened between you,” she said. “No ill-conceived make-out session you never spoke of again, or a sweaty drunken night together that you’re trying to pretend didn’t happen?”

“I told you, I haven’t been drinking,” I said. “And he never does.”

“Not even a tender moment of longing where something almost happened, but didn’t?”

“No, I…” But I trailed off before I finished protesting. There had been a moment like that. Actually, there had been many moments like that. At least, moments that could have been. I wasn’t sure.

I knew Sebastian was more to me than just a casual friend. He’d gradually worked his way into the hollow space where my heart had lived, filling it with his warmth.

What did he see when he looked at me? A girl who was a walking disaster, no doubt. But what did he feel? Friendship? Something more?

“I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter,” I said. “I ruined it.”

“Making a mistake doesn’t mean you ruined a friendship forever,” she said. “Right?

“Yeah, but Sebastian isn’t going to put up with me anymore.”

“You realize how much he cares about you, right?” she asked. “If he didn’t care, he’d just bail and let you run around with all the frat boys you want. But he didn’t. He reached out to my mom, hoping she could help you. He picked me up at the airport and drove me here. I saw the way he looked when he was talking about you. Maybe he’s mad, but he’s not walking away.”

I stared at her as what she was telling me sank in. He hadn’t written me off. I still had a chance. Maybe I hadn’t lost him.

“Oh my god, I need to go talk to him.” I put my mostly-full tea down on the side table and got up, my entire body filled with urgency. “Do you know if he’s home?”

“Calm your tits, crazy,” she said. “Yeah, I think he’s home. I’m supposed to call him after I talk to you and tell him how you’re doing.”

“Okay, call him, then. Talk to him.”

“Maybe we should just go over there,” she said. “And you talk to him. It’s close, right?”

I nodded. “Yeah, we can walk.”

“Let me go use the bathroom first.”

My heart raced while I waited for her to come out. I paced around the living room, too agitated to sit. It all made so much sense now. I’d been trying to deny it—trying to push my feelings away. Afraid of what they would mean.

But I knew the truth. I was in love with Sebastian, and nothing would ever be the same.

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