Page 126 of His Heart

“Hey, don’t blame me,” Charlie said. “Seb invited them.”

Sebastian’s lips quirked in a little smile and he shrugged.

Mary squeezed Sebastian’s arm. “And we’re glad you did. It’s not easy having all our kids so far away.”

The way she said that—all our kids, looking straight at me and Sebastian—made the tears I’d been trying to hold back win their battle. I touched my lips and took a deep breath as a few slid down my cheeks.

But they weren’t tears of sadness or grief. They were tears of joy.

We all took our seats at one of the round tables. The buzz of noise grew as more people arrived, the tables filling. Olivia jumped up to help the barista for a little while when the line got too long, and I had to go check out a few more customers at the front counter.

At eight o’clock, I made my way to the little area we referred to as the stage, and opened the evening. Olivia or I always had to act as host. Joe wouldn’t go near the microphone. He stood near the front counter, watching from a distance.

I thanked everyone for coming and turned over the mic to the first performer of the evening. I went back to our table and sat next to Sebastian. He took my hand in his and I leaned my cheek against his shoulder.

We listened to a piece by a man who’d spent the last year in South America. The next guy had a thick accent, but he was so animated, we all seemed to understand at least the spirit of his words. A young woman wearing a U of I sweatshirt looked so terrified, at first I wondered if I should get up and rescue her. But she closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and recited a lovely poem she’d written about her mother. I think we were all touched, not only by her words, but by her bravery.

“You ready?” Sebastian asked quietly into my ear.

I nodded. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

With a deep breath, I stood and took my place at the microphone. I’d never done a reading before. The closest I’d ever come was reading a few things aloud to Sebastian. I’d never shared any of my writing publicly. Looking at Mary and Brian, Olivia and Charlie, and Sebastian—and even Joe—in the crowd, I couldn’t have imagined a better time than tonight, with my whole family here.

I pulled out my piece, swallowed hard, and began.

“Enshrouded in the darkness of grief, her heart breaks. Emptiness consumes her. Where contentment and joy once lived, the shattered pieces of a life scatter across the floor like broken glass.”

I paused, my eyes lifting. Sebastian nodded.

“But life is not linear. It is not a line drawn in sand, only moving in one direction, ceasing to exist where it meets the waves. It is circular. Repetitive. Death leads to life. Despair leads to hope. Destruction leads to rebirth.

“For what is emptiness if not a vessel in which to pour? The hollow space in her chest lies ready, waiting. Abiding in the faith, however small, that it will once again be filled.

“Unspoken thoughts and smoldering coals hide beneath the surface. Green fades to brown, speaking of the truth held within. Touched by death. Saved by tragedy. Life and love exist in the beats of his heart. A heart shared by two. Loved by one.

“And therein lies the beautiful sadness of existence. Joy and sorrow. Happiness and heartache. Light and darkness. But above all, love.”

Stepping away from the microphone, I let out a long breath. The crowd applauded and my face flushed. I tucked my hair behind my ear and smiled, feeling a sense of fullness and satisfaction.

Sebastian’s proud smile warmed me from the inside out. He clapped along with everyone else, but the love in his eyes held me captive. So unyielding. So determined. He’d never given up on me, not even when I’d given up on myself. He’d known the truth—that together, we could rise from the depths of tragedy. And his faith in that truth was still unwavering.

Liam’s death had almost destroyed me. But I’d come to realize that even the worst circumstances could lead to something beautiful. Our lives had all changed forever the day he died. It was impossible to know what life would have been like if it hadn’t happened. But that wasn’t the point, anymore. It had happened. It had been an ending, and a beginning. A tragedy, and a gift.

Liam’s spirit lived on. In his sister’s laughter. In his parents’ generosity and kindness. In the love that had blossomed between Charlie and Olivia.

And of course, in Sebastian. His heart had given Sebastian a second chance at life—a gift of immeasurable value. But it had given me a second chance, too. Sebastian and I had both lost a part of ourselves and been faced with a world—and a future—that had been irrevocably altered. Alone, we’d floundered. But together, we’d risen from the ashes of despair—two people made new, and filled with hope.

Love had done that.

It was love that had guided Sebastian to me, when he hadn’t known who I was. Could it have been Liam, reaching through time and space? Had he spoken through the heart he and Sebastian shared, whispered to him when he’d looked at me across the street? Told Sebastian my name? I didn’t know. Maybe Liam had led Sebastian to me, knowing he would love me. Or maybe Liam’s heart had recognized me, and sought to reconnect with the heart it had once belonged to.

Or maybe it had all been a coincidence, and Sebastian could have just as easily turned and walked the other way.

But I didn’t think so.

Because I believed that love worked in ways that defied understanding. It was more powerful than loss. More powerful than grief. Even more powerful than death. And in the end, love would always win.

In us, love had triumphed.

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