Page 117 of His Heart

Sebastian

I wentdownstairs after waking from an unintentional nap. I hadn’t been sleeping well lately, but when I’d lain down, I’d only meant to rest for twenty minutes or so. Three hours later, I’d come to like a coma patient struggling to regain consciousness. Now I was groggy and dehydrated. I felt like shit.

Although that was basically the norm for me lately. I wasn’t moping around like a baby. I was handling my business. But on the inside, I was a wreck. It felt a little bit like I was slowly dying again. Like my heart was struggling to keep up, the compressions labored. I guess when your heart breaks, it feels a lot like a case of myocarditis. It fucking sucked.

I grabbed some water out of the fridge and went over to the couch. I’d stopped checking my phone quite so often, hoping Brooke had sent a message. But I still did it, and still felt the let-down that she hadn’t. I could have been the one to call, but it didn’t feel like the right thing to do. If I muscled my way back into her life, we’d only wind up right back where we started. Something needed to change first.

I went over to the couch and plopped down. Olivia was in the big overstuffed chair by the window.

“Hey,” she said.

“Sup, O,” I said. “Where’s Chuck?”

“Store,” she said.

I took a drink. “I hope he’s getting me dinner.”

She smiled. “Yeah, you know he has your back. Although that means it’ll be something healthy. Bo-ring.”

I tapped my chest. “Gotta take care of the ticker.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Speaking of… I saw Brooke yesterday.”

That got my attention. “You did? Where?”

“Her house.”

“And?”

“Well, I apologized for my role in the assholery that occurred recently,” she said. “And she did the same.”

“You guys made up?”

She nodded. “Yeah, we’re good. I kind of figured some things out that I should have realized a long time ago. You know, life experience and stuff. It makes a difference.”

“Sure does. How is she?”

“Not great,” she said. “Maybe not as terrible as I thought she’d be. It looks like she’s eating and all that. And there was a notebook sitting out with a pen next to it. If that means she’s writing, it could be a good sign. I think she works stuff out that way, you know?”

“She does,” I said.

“But, I don’t know, Seb. I told her she should come back to work, because I know Joe will take her back. He misses her dumb ass. But she said no. She said she’s thinking about leaving and starting over somewhere.”

Oh, fuck no.“She what?”

“She wasn’t packing or anything,” she said. “But you never know with her. She upped and left Phoenix. I’m a little worried she might do the same thing again. And if she decides to disappear, it’s pretty hard to find her. Trust me. She didn’t even have to leave the area after my brother died and it was impossible to track her down.”

I stood, spilling my water. But I didn’t give a shit. I grabbed my coat and my keys. This had gone on long enough.

“Good luck,” Olivia said.

I was already out the door.

Brooke’s house was dark. I banged on the door. No answer. Again. Fuck. She couldn’t have left. Olivia said she’d only mentioned it.

God, Brooke, don’t do this. Don’t disappear on me.

I still had a key, so I let myself in. She could be pissed at me all she wanted for it. I walked through the rooms, but her stuff was all there. Even her backpack was tucked away in the closet. I knew what she kept in there, and I didn’t think she’d leave it behind. That made me feel better.

---