Page 65 of Under the Earl's Wicked Spell

But, even so, Abigail had made a point. Sometimes, even the most obvious answer was not always the right one. Did that mean…?

Victoria didn’t want to try and figure it out. It was just going to leave her feeling lost and floundering, wanting to grab onto something as it went by. Having her faith towards something shaken like this didn’t make her feel any better.

She didn’t want to leave her room. Not when she knew everyone was going to be looking at her and wondering what she was going to do. Victoria didn’t want to be scrutinised in her own house.

Her house. Victoria didn’t like the sound of that. She had wondered what it would be like to be the lady of the house, and she thought it would be happy and looking forward to taking charge for the first time in her life. Even if she was now the property of her husband, she would have the ability to be in charge of the house. But there was nothing in her except a heavy weight knowing that this was to be her future home.

Her prison.

Victoria knew she wouldn’t be able to cope. She had to get out of there. Maybe, she would be able to talk to Blackmore about allowing her to go to the house in Wales. Be there with her own household and do whatever she wanted there. Sebastien had promised that they could live apart, and she knew he would have followed through.

Hopefully, Blackmore would agree to the same. She wasn’t about to be around a killer.

Admit it, you’re more worried about giving in to the desire you feel for him rather than the fact he can kill someone.

Victoria hated that she had to admit she found Blackmore desirable. But she did. The sensations in her body whenever she was around him, when she thought about him, were a mix of anger and desire. It was not a nice combination, and Victoria was angry with herself that she wanted him in any capacity.

If he hadn’t kissed her, this wouldn’t have happened. She could have maintained her composure and kept her distance better if she hadn’t been kissed.

But there was a part of her that had a feeling this would be happening even if Blackmore hadn’t kissed her.

None of this was good; Victoria knew that. She was stuck under the same roof as a man she wasn’t sure whether to kill or kiss. And that worried her.

***

Victoria didn’t come out of the room for the rest of the day. She knew it was an over-the-top attitude, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave her bedchamber. It felt like if she did, everyone was going to be staring at her and making assumptions about her before she got a chance. Her opinion on the matter between her and Blackmore was known quite well, and now she was under his roof.

It felt like her prison of a new house and had been reduced to just one room.

But in spite of that, Victoria stayed in her bedchamber. She tried to read, but it wasn’t easy. There were moments when the words sank in and made sense, but other times she ended up reading the same sentence quite a few times, and she found herself doing it again. She sat on the window seat, looking out at the view for a while.

At least Blackmore had given her a room with a nice view. She could see the sea in the distance, just a bit further down the garden. If she opened the window and listened carefully, Victoria could just about hear the sea and the gulls flying over the bay. She was tempted to go for a walk and head along the clifftops, but that would mean leaving the house. Victoria was sure Blackmore would have her followed.

Her appetite had gone. Victoria was left feeling numb. There was a knock at the door when it came to mealtimes, and Victoria found trays on the floor in the hall. She had tried to eat, but she was unable to swallow more than a couple of bites.

Victoria wanted to cry at her situation, but no tears would come. She was just miserable and unable to let it out. Something about Abigail saying that she was going to get married to a member of Blackmore’s household had made her body, and her emotions, just shut down. Victoria didn’t like it, but she didn’t know what to do about it.

She couldn’t live like this. Her parents were expecting for her to make this work, and her mother had even told her to start having children as soon as possible so Blackmore could secure his position with the Earldom. Before, the thought of having children with Blackmore as the father made Victoria feel quite nauseous. Now there was a flutter in her belly at the idea, which shocked and revolted her.

No, she couldn’t go there. She might find him attractive; Blackmore was a good-looking man. Victoria could admit that much. But she wasn’t going to act on that attraction. That was just far too dangerous. If she did, it would be like a betrayal of her brother’s memory. She couldn’t think of doing such a thing.

But Victoria couldn’t stop thinking about that kiss, about how it felt being so close to him. She could still remember how he tasted, and her lips throbbed at the memory. It left her tingling all over.

Which just made her mood even worse. Victoria had thought it would be so easy to hate her husband and to maintain the loathing. So why was she struggling with her emotions on the first day of their marriage? It was just not fair.

The sun was starting to lower in the sky when there was a knock at the door. Victoria looked up from her book, where the words were running together.

“Who is it?”

“It’s Mayfield, my lady. Can I come in?”

Mayfield was here? Victoria was about to send him away, but she found herself closing the book and putting it aside.

“The door’s unlocked, Mr Mayfield.”

The door opened, and the large presence of Charles Mayfield came in. He gave her a slight bow.

“Lady Blackmore.”

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