Page 6 of Just Breathe

“I know. I’m not a complete heathen.” He got out of the truck, grabbing his tools and making his way over to Jane.

I opened the door to the truck but hesitated for just a moment. I wasn’t ready for this; I wasn’t ready for Jane Ramos, and I had a feeling I might regret doing this job. I quickly got out, grabbing my tool belt and the clip board I carried around, that had notes of everything I needed to discuss with her.

Nate introduced himself to Jane as I walked to them. He extended his hand out to her. I didn’t hear her reply, but she shook his hand.

“Morning,” I said, walking up to the trunk of the car to see she bought an array of items for breakfast. Callum already had a breakfast burrito in his mouth, inhaling it like it was the last meal of his life.

“Morning,” Jane grumbled back, sounding a lot like Callum. “I have coffee, bagels, donuts, or breakfast burritos.” She sounded less enthusiastic. I glanced at Callum, and he smirked back at me, stirring his coffee.

She turned around, looking exhausted and clearly not wanting to be awake this early in the morning. She handed me a cup of coffee and moved over to show me the milk and sugars.

“Thanks.” I smiled at her, finding her morning grumpiness amusing and a hell of a lot cuter than Callum’s grumpy ass. “I’ll take a breakfast burrito.” I took a sip of my coffee as she grabbed me a burrito.

“No milk or sugar?” she asked, giving me my coffee.

“Aiden’s hardcore like that. He thinks milk and sugar are for pussies,” Callum answered for me, looking for more burritos.

“Well, shit, I’d rather be a pussy than a dick. At least I could take a pounding,” she replied, looking matter of fact, grabbing him another burrito. Callum’s lips twitched with amusement, something that neither Nate nor I have succeeded in doing this early in the morning.

“Well, I didn’t have much choice when I was in the military. We sometimes didn’t have a choice, and I would not give up coffee just because I didn’t have my milk and sugar.” I put my coffee down to unwrap my burrito.

“I don’t know what’s worse: black coffee or no coffee at all.” She looked thoughtful. “How long were you in the service?”

“Six years and two tours.” I took a bite of my burrito, feeling that familiar anxiety when I thought about my tours and those six years.

“Wow. Thank you for your service. Marines?” She prepared herself a bagel with cream cheese, not aware of the anxiety that was coursing through the air. I noticed Callum stopped eating, and he looked ready to bolt.

“Yeah, good guess,” I replied, keeping my voice even.

“My oldest brother was in the Marines. Y’all carry yourself in a similar way.” She turned around, taking a bite of her bagel. “He did three tours and served ten years, would have gone for his career, but military politics became too much for him. Plus, it’s like signing your soul to the devil.” She sounded bitter.

“You have no idea. The deal with the devil is the simple part.” Callum scowled.

She raised her eyebrows. “Did you serve too?”

“Not by choice,” he replied, giving up more than I expected him to.

“I’m sorry.” She looked at Callum with sadness in her eyes. Thankfully, he focused on his burrito and didn’t see her expression. He hated pity, especially when it was the genuine kind. “Thank you for your service too, even though it wasn’t by choice. You still protected, and that’s what matters.”

Serving in the military is hard, but when you serve with demons, I think it’s even worse. Cal joined the military with a shit attitude and saw more fucked up shit than an eighteen-year-old should have. He did two tours with me, making his demons even worse than they already were, making things even more difficult when he came back. No amount of therapy helped him, not that he actually tried.

“Thank you for breakfast and I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t know about your husband and baby; I wouldn’t have brought it up if I had known. I’m sorry for the pain I caused.” Callum looked up at her with just the hint of regret. He wasn’t a man of many emotions, but he felt bad for it, and I was glad he owned up to, it instead of burying his feelings.

She gave a sad smile. “No need to apologize. You didn’t know and therefore you don’t need to feel bad. It’s been eight months, and it’s time I faced my loss instead of pretending that it didn’t happen.” Her voice broke. “I don’t need to be coddled and I would appreciate if you didn’t walk on eggshells around me. Life happens and I’m not someone special to escape the cruel reality of it.”

“Ok.” Callum looked at her with a confused expression.

We finished our breakfast in silence. Everyone lost in their own thoughts or not knowing what to say. I observed Jane out of the corner of my eye, seeing her expression change with what I’m sure was a maelstrom of emotions. We picked up the trash and got everything that was left over packed away. She bought enough food to feed a small army. I’m sure Callum was hoping she left it for later.

“Alright. Everyone knows what needs to be worked on?” I looked at the guys getting their belts on and checking they had everything for the day.

“I’ll finish tiling the guest baths and then I have to go over numbers for the next shipment.” Nathan nodded at me.

“I’m working on the decking in the back,” Callum replied.

“Alright, let me know if y’all run into any trouble.” I nodded, and they took off to get their shit done. “Let’s shoot for getting both guest baths done today!” I yelled after Nate, hoping I wasn’t being too optimistic.

“I’ll try.” Nathan looked at me like I was crazy. “Thank you for breakfast, Jane.” Nate gave her a shy smile as he walked towards the house behind Callum.

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