Page 91 of Just Breathe

Callum

Iknew I should have come yesterday when Jane wasn’t home this morning. She probably thought I wouldn’t lend her the Bronco anymore, and I felt shitty about it. The shit that happened with Lucio fucked everything up and I knew I put her in a situation she shouldn’t have to be in. Things could have ended badly if Aiden and Nathan had not been there. I felt powerless, and it was a feeling I promised I would never feel again.

When I arrived at ten this morning, she didn’t answer the door. At first I thought she was just ignoring me until I walked around the property, noticing she didn’t make her bed and it looked like she had left. I went back to the Bronco to wait for her so she could finally have a car. I knew she had a shift tonight, and I didn’t want her to have to scramble for a ride when I had already offered her one.

I had a key to the place, but I knew that was an invasion of her privacy and after everything that went down, I knew we weren’t in a good place. I put her at risk, and I hated I did that. She didn’t need my drama in her life or the constant fights I had to go to. She was better off without me, but it wasn’t just about me. The guys and I were a package deal. If I didn’t continue my relationship with her, then they wouldn’t either, which made me feel like shit.

Finally, around eleven, I saw a silver SUV show up. I noticed Jane was driving, making me feel guilty that I didn’t come yesterday to drop off the car. She parked next to me, and I got out of the Bronco. I felt nervous about seeing her. She made me feel things I’d never felt before, making me jumpy and unsure of myself. It was overwhelming and gave me the urge to run away.

“Hi,” I said as she opened her door.

She raised her eyebrows at me. “Hey,” she said as she went to the front door to open it. She walked back to the trunk of the SUV, opening it up to show that she went grocery shopping. “Did you need something, Callum?” Not even sparing a glance at me while she grabbed some bags.

I took the rest of the bags, closing the trunk of the car and following her into the house. It was a beautiful home, and I was very proud of that fireplace. She placed the bags on the floor, turning to look at me with an expectant expression. I realized I didn’t answer her question.

“I came by to drop off the Bronco for you,” I said, placing the bags on the floor too. “I didn’t come yesterday because I had to check on Kelsey and she needed help with some things you ended up sending to her.”

“I’m glad she got what I sent to her already. I was hoping it wouldn’t take forever to get here.” She bent down to grab a bag and emptied it out on the counter. “I actually don’t need the Bronco anymore. Thanks,” she said, dismissing me. She was deliberately not looking at me and while that’s what I wanted, I craved her attention.

“Well, you can still borrow it. We mostly use the truck, so there’s no point in you having to spend money.” I didn’t want to stand there like an asshole, so I helped her out.

“No worries, Cal. I’m renting from Darcy at the coffee shop for dirty cheap and it will make this easier, anyway.” She continued to put things away, staying away from me and still not looking at me.

“What do you mean, make things easier?” I asked, already knowing the answer. Jane wasn’t stupid. I’m sure by now Aiden or Nathan said something or did something. I made it clear to them I would not continue things with her, not after I put her in danger. She wasn’t safe with me, and seeing Lucio look at her like she was a prize was fucking killing me.

Jane disappeared into the pantry, not answering my question. She stayed in there for longer than necessary and for a moment, I thought I was going to have to drag her out.

“Now you won’t have to worry about not having a car.” She walked out to grab some more bags again, not looking at me. “Plus, Kelsey is pregnant, so you need to make sure you have a car, just in case.”

She gave me these bullshit excuses when all I wanted was for her to say what was really happening. God, I was such an asshole. I couldn’t even admit to her that what we did couldn’t happen again. “We have three cars, Jane. We can live with two for right now.” I don’t know why I was pushing the issue. She gave me an out, and I wasn’t even taking it.

She finally looked up at me, confused, and underneath that, I saw she was hurting. I had a weird feeling in my chest, thinking that I caused her pain. It wasn’t just me, either. Aiden and Nathan pulled away, too. We were so tied together that we did shit for each other, even when it wasn’t what we wanted. We were a unit and did what was best for the unit.

“Cal, I already have a car. I don’t need yours. Thanks for the offer.” Her face shut down, and all I saw was indifference. I didn’t expect her to push us away so quickly. I was used to women hanging on to us for dear life, digging their heels into the ground before they finally let us go. The urge to apologize and make everything better overwhelmed me. I wanted her to be happy. She deserved to be happy, but she also deserved to be safe.

She went back to the pantry putting away more groceries, and I hated she wasn’t fighting for us or even making it seem like it wasn’t a big deal. I was angry at this entire situation, how it went from being great to fucked up in less that forty-eight hours. I wanted to fight for her, but I also wanted to push her away.

“Jane, just stop.” I tried to keep my voice calm, but my emotions were all over the place.

“Stop what, Callum?” She came out of the pantry looking frustrated.

“We need to talk.” I looked at her and even angry, she was beautiful. The fierceness in her expression made me want her more.

“I think we are way past that, Callum. Instead of shutting me out, maybe we should have talked then,” she snapped at me.

“Look, things are complicated with Lucio and he…”

“And he what?” she interrupted me. “He decided for you guys to shut me out?”

“Jane.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“You know what is so stupid? If you had just talked to me, I could have given you the money to free yourself, because if you keep getting your ass beat, one day, Callum, you will not wake up.” She raised her voice.

“You think I want to be in this situation?” I was getting angrier at this entire situation. “I’m not some charity case either, Jane.”

“Obviously you don’t want to be in this situation and I’m not saying you’re a charity case. I’m just trying to fucking help, but you can’t even give me a chance to do that!” She took a step towards me. “All I’m saying is, why didn’t you just talk to me?”

“Look, this isn’t any of your business. Do you think I wanted to drag you into this? You think I wanted what happened on Sunday?” I took a step towards her, towering over her, but she stood her ground.

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