Page 57 of Just Breathe

“I had four in a row. That’s when I ran into Candy, and she bought me my fifth beer.” I knew it was stupid, but like I said, I didn’t make the best choices when I’m running away from shit.

“That doesn’t seem like enough to get you obliterated. I mean, you were fucking out of it. I’ve never seen you like that.” Callum looked at me, confused. “Are you sure you drank nothing else or take something from someone?”

I hated he had to ask those questions, but I knew he had every right to. “I don’t remember anything after Candy. She bought me a beer and then it’s blank.”

“Anyone could have slipped him anything.” Callum looked at Aiden and he nodded his head in agreement.

“Are we just jumping to conclusions that make no sense? Why would someone slip me something and honestly, we live in a small town? I’m sure someone would see something and tell me.” I was getting pissed that this happened to me, and I couldn’t fucking remember shit.

“You weren’t gone very long. For you to feel what you were feeling when we found you, Jane says you had to be drugged. I think she might be right.” Aiden looked at me, knowing I was hating to hear this.

“Candy?” Callum asked.

“I don’t think she has it in her to do something stupid like that.” Aiden nodded his head.

Dread formed in my belly at the possibility of her doing this to me. “She bought me a beer. She could have slipped me something.” I ran my hands through my hair, feeling ashamed. What could have happened if the guys hadn’t shown up? Was someone looking to take advantage of me? “She talked about our arrangement with her.”

“Fuck.” Callum got up, getting upset. “There’s a big chance she did this. I mean, she said he was going home with her and she didn’t even bat an eye that he was belligerent.”

“We can’t accuse her if we have no proof.” Aiden was always the voice of reason. Sometimes it really got on my nerves.

“This is fucking bullshit.” I got up too, pacing behind my chair. “This is the last thing I need.”

“I know, brother, we will handle one thing at a time,” Aiden said, still sitting down.

I was getting worked up the more I thought about it. I felt like I needed another drink or something to make all this go away.

“Nate, you got to calm down.” Callum appeared right in front of me. “I know this shit is bad, but like Aiden said, we will handle one problem at a time.”

“I need these problems to just go away. I’m fucking tired.” I looked at Callum, hoping he would see that I was exhausted.

“Maybe you should go with Jane this weekend?” Aiden suggested.

“Yeah and ruin her brother’s wedding. He sounded like such a dickhead. I’m sure he would love it if I lost my shit at his wedding.” I turned away from them, feeling even more unhinged. “Jane would probably run away screaming and this whole thing we have going on would go to shit.” I knew what I was saying might not be true, but I did not know what I might feel this weekend and I wouldn’t ruin Jane’s weekend.

Jealousy burned through me at the thought of Callum enjoying his weekend with Jane, with both of them not having a care in the world.

“It feels like it’s worse this year,” Aiden stated with his arms across his chest, staring at me. “Any idea why?”

I glared at Aiden. “If you think I knew, then maybe I would be like this,” I snapped, knowing I was being an enormous dick.

“I think it’s time to cut the cord, Nathan. Ditch that vile woman you call mother, so she doesn’t call you back because she’s the one that makes it worse every year,” Callum growled.

“Callum’s right. I think it’s really time you fucking give her a piece of your mind and stop letting her do this to you,” Aiden agreed with Callum, making me feel like a fucking outsider. I felt like I was always being left out because I was not their military buddy.

“It’s easy for you guys to say that. You don’t have to deal with the trauma and the bullshit that I went through,” I snarled at Aiden, feeling the need to run away.

“She’s the reason your sister killed herself and don’t think for a fucking second that isn’t true, because you know it is. She put you guys through some vile shit that no mother should do,” Aiden snapped back at me.

We glared at each other. Not once had we ever fought like this, and it was probably time for it to happen. “Well, excuse me for not having a fucking perfect family like yours. You know it was my father who put us through some fucked up shit.”

“Guys, fighting with each other isn’t making anything better.” Callum got between us. “Nathan, you know your mother is awful, and Aiden, let’s not push him to do something he’s not ready to do.”

Aiden scowled, but his face softened after a moment. “I just want what’s best for you, man. I hate to see you suffer.”

Looking at Aiden and Callum, my anger deflated. These guys were my family. “I know, I just don’t know why I can’t let go. Seeing Jane broken last week just brought back old shit and I think that’s just messed everything up. She reminded me of Natalie.”

“I knew she brought back old memories. I just didn’t think she reminded you of Natalie.” Callum rubbed his head.

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