Page 50 of Just Breathe

“If there was a way, would you come with me?” I asked, looking hopeful.

“Sure.” His smirk was cocky. “I even have a suit I can wear.”

“Well, a suit would be fine for the rehearsal dinner, but we will need to get you a tux for the big day. I can’t wait to see you in one.” I tried to say this as cocky as I could.

Aiden laughed. “Damn Callum, I think you’re getting hustled again.”

“She’s got something up her sleeve.” Nathan grinned. I pulled my phone out and winked at him as I walked away.

Kelsey laughed. “Damn Cal, I like her.”

I dialed my youngest brother’s phone number and walked away as the phone rang.

“Janie?” my brother answered the phone.

“Hey how’s it going?” I asked, suddenly feeling shy and awkward. I hadn’t talked to him in months, and now I was just about to ask for a favor.

“Busy, what about you? I heard you ran away and are ruining your life.” He chuckled.

“I am squandering my money on titty bars and alcohol in a small town.” I laughed.

“I hope they are at least decent titties. A good handful should be worth it, I guess,” he replied.

“Well, not all titties. I do like butts too.” I missed our usual banter and I miss him.

“I hope they are at least big enough to bounce a quarter off of them.” I could hear him moving around.

I laughed. “So who's saying I’m ruining my life, Mom or Paul?”

“Both. Paul says you’re not stable and Mom thinks you’re going to come back poor.”

I rolled my eyes at the dramatics. “I came to Mountain View, not fucking Vegas. They are so dramatic.”

“Yes, this fucking wedding is driving me nuts. I can’t wait till it’s over and I don’t have to hear all this bullshit about it.” He sounded exasperated.

“I’m glad I’m not there then,” I said, thinking that maybe I dodged a bullet coming here.

“Oh, just wait. I think everything is going to get dumped on you when you get back, you selfish girl. How dare you go off to heal yourself while your brother is going to get married.” Sounded just like something my mom would say.

“How dare I lose my husband and child before the wedding,” I joked, but when nothing but silence came through, I felt bad for saying it. My oldest brother and my youngest brother didn’t do well with emotions, so I usually just kept a tight lid on it around them.

“Fuck. Look Janie I’m sorry.” He sounded upset, and I did not know why. “I know it’s been hard and I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you as much as I probably should have. I just don’t know what to do when my baby sister cries. There is literally nothing I can do to make it better. That’s hard for me to deal with and that sounds like the shittiest excuse.”

“Jax, you don’t have to apologize.” Emotion made my voice hoarse. I had never had one of them outright apologize for it or acknowledge it.

“The way Mom and Paul talked about you, it made me so mad because you lost everything in a blink of an eye, and they made it sound like you were throwing a tantrum about something insignificant.” I could picture him getting frustrated.

“Jax…”

“No, let me finish,” he interrupted me. “I’ve been selfish because I don’t know what to do, but also because I couldn’t fix it for you. I figure you are probably sick of people checking in on you, but I should've just at least called.”

I loved my brothers, but sometimes they were so selfish. They were emotionally unavailable, and it really sucked.

“It’s not ok but I get it. I’m a little hard to handle right now and I don’t think anyone knows what to do with me, but you can make it up to me right now.” I smiled, knowing I might pull this off.

“You name it, Janie.” I knew he felt bad when his childhood nickname came out constantly.

“I need you to do a tattoo on my date next week.”

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