Page 42 of Just Breathe

“I also finished the deck in the back. I just need to stain and seal it.” Callum unfortunately put a shirt on.

“That sounds great. I can’t wait to see it and then I’ll head home for a nap before my shift tonight,” I said after a took a sip of my coffee. Ugh, it was so good. Everything Nathan made was amazing. “Wait, did I drive here?”

“No, we actually swung by your rental and found you in your car,” Callum stated.

Some parts of yesterday were still fuzzy. “What about my phone?” I was surprised that wasn’t the first question I asked. I was attached to that device.

“Oh, I put it on a charger. It’s in the living-room.” Nathan was pouring some batter into the waffle maker.

“I’ll get it.” Aiden walked away.

“That smells amazing,” I said, as Aiden came back and handed me my phone.

“It’s going to be more amazing once I finish the compote.” Nathan turned around and winked at me.

I smiled as I checked my phone, four missed calls from Paul and two from Madie. Michelle had texted me not to come in today but to call her. I figured Madie was the easiest to respond to. “I have to make a few calls. Is it ok if I take my coffee to the courtyard?”

“Of course, use any space you like.” Aiden nodded at me.

I took my coffee, opening the beautiful patio door and taking a seat. I dialed Madie, knowing she was already up, and she answered immediately.

“Jane?” She sounded worried.

“Hey sorry, I didn’t call back.” The morning was cooler than I was expecting, so I brought my legs up and covered them in my enormous shirt.

“Are you ok? Why didn’t you call me back?” She sounded out of breath.

“I had a rough night at the hospital, and it set me back emotionally.” I hid nothing from Madie, well maybe I wasn’t forthcoming about the guys, but that was something I didn’t even know what was going on.

“Paul has been blowing up my phone because he thinks you’re doing something you shouldn’t be doing. He says you haven’t been returning his calls for days.”

Rolling my eyes at his dramatics. “I have four missed calls just in the last day and he’s being an asshole. He wants me to bring a date to the wedding because he doesn’t want to deal with people asking about me and how I’m doing.”

“He what?” She sighed, sounding annoyed. “I just don’t understand him.”

“He wanted me to go with Steve.” I took a sip of my coffee. “He also asked for two grand more for his stupid cake.”

“Steve? That man is such an idiot. And two grand? What the fuck is in the cake? And it better serve itself.” I laughed. She said the same thing that I did.

“Girl, I don’t know what’s going on in his head. I feel like the older I get, the more I see what a selfish asshole he is, and I swear it’s getting worse.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling like my brother was going off the deep end. My other brothers were nowhere near as selfish as he is, but I guess I can’t be surprised our mother is the same way.

“You should bring Aiden.” Madie sounded mischievous. “I’m sure Paul would love that.”

“Paul would have a coronary, but I highly doubt he would come with me.” The door to the courtyard open and Callum brought me a blanket. “You’re a saint.”

He chuckled. “I’m far from it. Nathan said 10 minutes.” He walked back inside the house, letting me check out his lovely back side.

“Are you with Aiden?” she asked excitedly.

“I’m at his house with his roommates.” I took a sip of coffee, getting nervous about how she would react. “After my shift, I had a breakdown. We had a family involved in an accident. Mother came in DOA, daughters were in critical condition, we lost both of them and when the news was told to the husband, he lost it. It reminded me of our accident, and it triggered me.”

“Oh, my god, Jane. I’m so sorry.” I could picture her hand on her chest sitting down. Her voice was full of emotion.

“I lost it. I don’t even remember how I got home or what happened after I went back into our employee lockers. Aiden, Nathan and Callum have been nice enough to help me through it because I honestly don’t know what I would have done if I had been by myself,” I reluctantly admitted, knowing that my family was already worried I would do something stupid.

“Did it cross your mind?” she asked. “You know… leaving us too?”

“Twice.” I was ashamed that I even thought of killing myself. “I felt so guilty that I survived, that I stayed behind and had to deal with losing both of them. Aiden called it survivor’s guilt. He said he saw it all the time when he was in the service.” I hated showing my weakness, but if there was anyone who would not judge me, it was Madie.

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