Page 38 of Just Breathe

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I woke up spooning Jane. I normally didn’t nap, but since I didn’t sleep well last night, I guess I needed it. Nathan was asleep on his back and Jane resting her head on his chest. I guess he couldn’t stay away for too long. They both looked peaceful, and I didn’t want to disturb them. I slowly pulled away from Jane, replacing my body with a pillow. My back was stiff, and I stretched, hearing it crack, waking me up a little more. I picked my phone and left the room.

I turned the screen on and saw it was just after two. I had one missed call from Aiden and another one from Candy, the latter irritating me, especially after we had to tell her to chill out and our arrangement wouldn’t change. We agreed it was only physical and if she couldn’t do that, then this would not work out. I called Aiden back when I got to the kitchen, leaving the speaker on. I looked for food while the phone rang.

“Is she ok?” Aiden sounded tired and out of breath.

“She’s asleep right now with Nathan but she’s not ok.” I found some sandwich meat and settled on making myself a sandwich.

“Did she say what happened?” he asked.

“No, but before she fell asleep, she asked why she was the only one to survive.” I took the bread out and laid them out with everything else.

“Survivor’s guilt?” Aiden sounded like he was moving around.

“That’s what I’m thinking. I don’t know what triggered it.” I finished making my sandwich and took a bite out of it.

“Something had to have happened at the hospital, or maybe she got a phone call?” He sounded frustrated.

“Who knows?” I said with my mouth full. “She hasn’t wanted to say anything.”

“Well, she’s probably too overwhelmed to talk. I’m sure it’s like a war zone in her brain.” He sounded like he was pacing. The mention of the war zone made both of us quiet.

“Do you need me to come help you out?” I asked, taking another bite out of my sandwich.

“Nah, I’ve got it. I don’t think it’s a good idea to leave Nathan alone with her. I know he doesn’t handle her crying very well. How is he?”

“I think he’s doing well. It surprised me to see him in the bed with us.” I finished my sandwich, wiping my mouth with a paper towel. “Maybe this will help him handle his inner turmoil?”

“I hope so. It’s been long enough, and he needs to find peace with it.” He sighed.

“Let’s hope that happens.” I cleaned up my mess. “You need me to do anything while I’m here?”

“Actually yeah. I need you to go through some invoices making sure we have paid them, also if you can work on that invoice for Mrs. Montgomery, adding all the things she and Jane talked about. Get a quote from Debbie to see how much she would rent out a few rooms to us for about two weeks.”

“Why do we need a quote on that?” I asked, confused.

“I’m going to see if I can get these guys to work two weeks straight helping us out and pay for a room here in town and that way we might finish projects sooner and we aren’t so exhausted,” he explained.

“That kind of makes sense. Where did you get that idea from?” I typed out a list of what he just asked me to do.

“Jane actually suggested it,” he replied, sounding a bit surprised she suggested it too.

“Alright, I’ll work on this after I check up on them. If you need anything else, text me.”

“Rodger, if anything gets worse, let me know. I’m going to get out of here in the next three hours. See ya.” He cut the call.

I looked up at the ceiling, hoping sleeping was going to help Jane out. It was very hard to see her like this. I knew what survivor’s guilt felt like, and when it was fresh, it consumed you. Aiden and I survived a bombing while more than half of our squad didn’t make it. It really fucks with you, among other things from being deployed. I hated thinking about my time. Nothing good came from it and no matter what I did, it always haunted me.

I made my way upstairs checking on them, noticing Tango in the room with them before I headed to the office, getting what I needed to work. Jane had turned around and Nathan spooned her. He hated to sleep with other people, but he seemed to do just fine with Jane. I smiled, hoping something good came out of this. Nathan deserved to get over his shit, just like the rest of us did, too.

I worked on the shit Aiden asked me too, occasionally checking in on them to make sure they were still ok. They were in a different position every time I went back in, finding it funny because a few times it looked like Nathan might fall off the bed. I went back to work, finishing up the invoice for Mrs. Montgomery.

“You hungry?” Nathan asked, leaning on the door frame.

“I’m always hungry. Is Jane awake?” I filed some stuff away.

“No, she’s passed out. I wanted to let you know before I started dinner, so she wasn’t alone. I don’t think I could handle her heartbroken if she wakes up, and no one is in the room with her.”

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