Page 25 of Just Breathe

Jane

Idon’t know what came over me. I felt fine on our hike over here. The trees were beautiful; the sky was so blue. It was like being somewhere safe, somewhere I didn’t have to think about anything. For just a moment, it felt like the past hadn’t happen. That I hadn’t lost my husband and child. Briefly, I felt like myself. A woman who wasn’t suffering, who didn’t see her husband die or lose her child.

I let myself float for a minute and I just existed. Then reality came crashing down, and I wasn’t just someone existing, I was lost and lonely. I think worst of all, drowning in life. I let myself feel everything in small moments throughout the day, and it was fucking awful. I missed my husband and child that I had grown to love, and I missed the life that I could’ve had. Then, for just a moment, I felt like I’d needed to drown, to feel the burn of life. I dove into the lake or whatever this was and for as long as I could; I stayed down. The silence of being beneath the water was intoxicating. It called to me like an addiction.

When I felt like I couldn't hold my breath anymore, I swam up. I felt someone staring at me, and of course, it had to be Callum. I swear that man knew what I was feeling. It was like he knew what internal suffering felt like. I felt like our pain mirrored each other and he understood me without even knowing me.

“You ok?” he asked, looking like he didn’t know whether to feel sorry for me or ignore whatever he saw happen. He looked like a man who didn’t deal well with emotions.

“I don’t know, but I hope one day I might be.” For the first time since my life turned upside down, I answered honestly. I didn’t want to dwell on whatever I was feeling. So, I swam away to prevent a full-blown meltdown and to save Callum. I looked around for Aiden and Nathan to make sure I didn’t bump into anyone before I felt in control of myself. I pulled myself onto a rock, leaning back to enjoy the sun. After taking a deep breath, I worked on my turmoil for a few minutes. The sound of laughter, splashing and the roaring of the waterfall helped ease myself into a better mood.

When I opened my eyes, I saw Aiden and Nathan jumping from a small ledge doing flips. They laughed as they rushed up, pushing each other to fall off before reaching the top. Aiden jumped first, but Nathan pushed him, messing up his dive.

“That was shit!” Callum called from the bottom as Aiden surfaced.

“That was bullshit, Nate!” Aiden glared at Nathan, but it held no real heat.

“Twenty bucks I can do a triple,” Nathan shouted, looking completely different from the shy guy I’ve seen the past couple of days.

“Fifty bucks!” Callum hollered back, looking mischievous. “Fifty bucks, you belly flop.”

“Get ready to owe me fifty, you asshole.” Nathan stepped back as far as he could go. He took off and just as he was going to jump, Aiden and Callum shouted something, making Nathan miss a step. He didn’t jump high enough, only rotating one and a half times before he belly-flopped.

I laughed so hard, I snorted getting the attention of Aiden, who was also laughing. It was probably wrong to laugh, but the poor guy looked hilarious. I leaned over as I continued to laugh and laughed even harder when Nathan groaned.

“Not cool, Jane.” He sounded close.

“I’m…. I’m…” I couldn’t get the rest out because of my laughing.

“Oh, I see how it is.” I felt him grab me and throw me over his shoulder.

“I’m sorry. Your face was priceless.” I dabbed the corner of my eyes as I dangled close to his ass, still giggling.

“Let’s see if you’re still giggling in a second.” He climbed the side of the cliff and I squirmed.

“Nathan, put me down.” I tried to push off of him.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. You wouldn’t want us to fall, would you? I mean, this cliff could easy fuck us both up.” He tightened his grip on my thighs, making me shiver.

“Nate, put me down.” I slapped his butt as we kept climbing, making me nervous.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish.” His voice made me shiver again.

“Nathan!” I smacked his ass again, trying to make a point, but he only smacked my ass back, making me red in the face.

“The only way I’m putting you down is if you apologize for laughing at me.” Nathan stopped moving.

“Ah poor little Nathan got his feeling hurt. Poor baby.” I heard a laugh below us.

“Oh, so that’s how we are going to play it? Fine.” He adjusted his grip, and I screamed.

“Ok fine! I’m sorry!” I tried to get a hold of anything on him to stop myself being launched just in case.

“See, was that too hard?” He slid me down the front of his body slowly. Goosebumps peppered my flesh as I felt his hard body, making my nipples pucker up. Even though he was the smaller of the three, he still had an amazing body with probably not an ounce of body fat on him. He looked embarrassed and out of his element, but I saw heat in his multicolored gaze. He was getting turned on like I was, and I don’t think that was his intention.

“I still think that was the funniest shit I’ve seen.” I raised my brow at him and smiled, getting ready to bolt down the cliff.

“Oh, yeah?” He narrowed his eyes. I knew he was getting ready to pounce again, and I just had to be quicker while making sure I didn’t fall off. I dove to his right, but he was quicker than I was and grabbed my waist, launching me over the edge. There was just enough time to scream, pinch my nose and hold my breath. My stomach flipped right before I landed in the water. I was happy that I didn’t belly flop. I swam up to the surface just as Nathan hit the water.

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