Page 40 of Accidental Baby For My Brother’s Best Friend

Locke

I'm not the clingy type, even in a long-term relationship instead of a casual fling, so I tell myself there's no reason to get bent out of shape about Gemma avoiding me over the next few days. She's sick, after all, and just because she's stuck right next to Axel at all times shouldn’t give me a reason to worry. But I'm possessive over even casual partners, so I can't help sitting between them on the tour bus from Oklahoma City to Dallas.

Gemma looks pale and I'm a little worried about her.

"Do you want me to get you a ginger ale?" I ask her softly when we stop at a gas station, and she favors me with a weak smile.

"Thanks, Axel's grabbing one for me."

Of course he is,I think, and then my mouth runs away with me.

"If you were…you know…with someone else, you'd tell me, wouldn't you?"

I hate myself the second I say it because her green eyes flash with anger.

"And why would I do that?" she snaps and gets up to storm off the bus into the gas station.

I'm alone on the bus, so I groan and sit back in the seat. Gemma's comment doesn't make me feel better in the slightest.

What does that mean, anyway? If she's still sleeping with Axel…I can’t even think about it without red rage forming in the corners of my vision. I press the heels of my hands into my eyes until I see spots and when I remove them, Samuel is staring at me with a raised eyebrow.

“You gonna do anything about that?” he asks, as if this is a hole in one of my drums or something.

“About what?” I ask, playing dumb. I can see Jackson milling around the front of the gas station, on the phone with someone, probably a girl. Probablythegirl, from what I can tell by his furrowed brow. Jackson hasn’t picked up a single girl in weeks, as far as I know, so someone must have hooked him. Unlike myself and Axel, Jackson falls into relationships sometimes after a fling.

“AboutGemma,” Samuel replies, sounding exasperated, as if he thinks I’m an idiot. He probably does.

Hell,Ithink I’m an idiot, and not for what I just said to Gemma or my jealousy. I’m an idiot for feeling the way I do about her. I worry about her all the time, and that started happening even before she got sick. I’m worried about what she’s doing when she’s alone with Axel, worried about someone bumping her around during a concert, worried someone will follow her to a club bathroom and harass her. Most of all, I’m an idiot for worrying if she likes me as much as I’ve come to like her.

I’m an idiot because Idolike her. I buy Zero bars and blue Takis at every gas station we go to. I’ve got a whole damn tote bag full of the things, just because they’re her favorite snacks. I told myself when I started that I was just making myself a backup for one of our long stretch trips, but so far, I haven’t eaten a single one, passing a bag of Takis to her on the tour bus or handing her a Zero bar after the show. She doesn’t always eat before the shows, and of course, I worry about that, too.

That’s the thing. I get possessive over women that I barely know, so that doesn’t tip me off, it’s all theworryingthat means that I like her. I only worry at that level about the people I care most about. So now I’m stuck in a casual fling relationship with my best friend’s little sister and she doesn’t seem to like me any more than she did when we first met—at least, not outside the bedroom. And now, my possessive nature isn’t just possessive, butjealous, and that’s a much harder emotion for me to control.

It’s not like I don’t have good reason to be jealous, given how she’s running around with our lead guitarist. Not just that, but given the way things went the last time I liked a girl…let's just say I have plenty of baggage.

"Nothing," I say flatly.

"Every woman isn't Janis, Locke." Samuel says softly, as if he read my mind, and I flinch.

"Of course not," I reply, grinning, and look over to make sure Jackson is still out of earshot. "Gemma's much hotter than Janis ever was."

"Can't wait to watch Jack beat your ass," Samuel mutters under his breath, and I can't help but smile.

Samuel's ticked off at me, but he won't rat me out. I reach over and ruffle his hair and he groans.

Axel jumps up into the tour bus looking like he hasn't slept in a week, but I guess we all kind of look like that. I definitely shouldn't assume that he's been up all night with Gemma.

She's been too sick for that, I tell myself. My gut still feels like it's in knots thinking about Axel comforting her and bringing her ginger ale when she's not feeling well, though. That's not exactlyworsethan my imagination, but it's not better, either.

I want that to bemyjob, and therein lies the problem. I like Gemma, and that’s a problem, but if I fall inlove… When that happens, I risk everything.

I fell for Janis Childs when I was twenty years old, and it was a flame that burned until I was nearly thirty, off and on.

We moved in together when we were twenty-two, after a few splits here and there and got engaged when we were twenty-four. One year in, she told me that she was overwhelmed at work and that my music was going nowhere. It hurt, but she was right, and I wanted to take care of her. It became more important than anything else to me.

I quit the band I was in and started working construction full-time to make her happy. On my twenty-seventh birthday, I attended a concert for Dirty Liars, the band I had been a drummer for with a few of my friends.

The band name turned out to be a warning.

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