Page 47 of The Red Dress

“But she also loves Owen. She loved him first,” Jess says.

“Yes.”

“What does it matter who she loved first?” Jane asks.

“Because it just does!” Jess screeches.

“Stop it you two! You want me to choose? How can I. They are both great men. I love them both beyond crazy. You know why I can’t choose? Because I’m terrified of what that will mean! If I choose Owen, does that mean I’m a coward who’s unwilling to give myself a chance at something even greater?

“And if I choose Bo, does that mean I am turning my back on my vows and destroying a man’s heart simply because I’m horny for someone else? Who would be there to help Owen put his life back together? My dad had me, but who will Owen have?” I ask, trembling, remembering how it had been for my father, nights sitting out in his driveway drinking after a long day of packing up the home he’d shared with my mother. Crying.

Jess brings her arms around me and pulls me to her. “You’re not your mother, Cris. Everything about this situation is different.”

Jane says nothing, but sits watching us wide-eyed and somewhat confused. I can see her brain going a mile a minute as she processes things we’ve said, knowing there is more to the story.

“To be honest, I’m a little afraid I’m going to end up likeEl Perro de las Dos Tortas.” I slump my shoulders and look at my hands.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jess finally asks.

“It’s a Spanish saying. You know, the dog with the two sandwiches.”

“Never heard of it,” says Jane.

“Never mind, if I translate it, it’s just going to sound funny to you.”

Jess is already laughing when she demands I tell them. “You cannot leave us hanging!”

“All right. So, there was a dog, and he had the best sandwich ever. Then, someone walks by and throws him another one, just as good. So, he drops the one he has to go eat the new one. But as he does, he thinks, what if this one isn’t as good?”

“Dogs can think like that?” Jane asks.

“Anyway,” I continue. “So he leaves the new sandwich, only to find that another dog has already run off with the first. He chases after him, but he’s too fast. Then he comes back to that second sandwich only to find it gone, too! So you see, because he couldn’t make up his mind, he ended up with nothing.”

“No sandwich,” Jess says sadly, then she and Jane both cackle hysterically until they just plain piss me off.

Sighing, I wonder if this is how it’s always going to be always; my life divided in two.

Jess has already had two margaritas, while both Jane and I are still working on our first. I’m already feeling it for sure.

Pulling out a beautiful serving plate my mom brought for me from Mexico on her last trip, I carefully and lovingly set up the nachos. Ground beef, tomatoes, avocado, shredded cheese, cilantro, jalapeno and sour cream on top of big restaurant style chips.

“Nachos!” Jess says rubbing her hands and goes to sit at the table with Jane.

Jane, looking a little gray, smiles at me as I place my work of art on the table. Then, not a second later, she proceeds to throw up into it.

I whip my arms back just in time to avoid splatter, but seeing the mess and hearing her heaving has me running to the water closet. My head prickles as I hear her all the way there, and I can feel the sweat spewing from my pores as I fight back the nausea.

It’s a while before the commotion in the kitchen clears. I feel awful leaving them out there to deal with the mess, but I just can’t handle it. Never have I been able to comfort a heaving friend in need. Even Mia’s throw up has me head first in the toilet every time.

When I finally come out, I’m soaked, from sweat and from the constant splashing of cool water on my face.

Both girls are wearing different clothes. Jane is laying on my couch and Jess is almost done cleaning up the kitchen.

Jane looks up at me. “Sorry, girl,” she says. “It stinks in there.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I wasn’t there to help. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah. I wasn’t feeling sick before. I don’t know what happened. Is it okay that we borrowed your clothes and showered in your shower? And took new toothbrushes from your linen closet?”

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