Page 90 of The Alice Equation (The Laws of Love 1)

“Yes, it’s calledcaringabout you, Aaron. And every time I show the slightest bit of interest, you jump down my bloody throat. Don’t you get it? I actually want you to be happy. And frankly, Alice is the one woman I’ve always thought you could be happy with. Everyone sees it. Andrea, Dad, me. Even Gran before her memory went. You asked. I’m telling.”

“Well maybe I’m not ready for this commitment shit. Maybe I’m not willing to give away my freedom.”

“Or willing to risk it.”

Aaron ground to a halt, heels digging into the turf as he yanked two buttons of his shirt undone. Sure, it was a hot day, but this heat was burning him up from the inside. “Risk what?”

Oliver said quietly, “If you don’t love someone, there’s no chance you’ll lose them, is there?”

Aaron crumpled. Collapsed back on the bench and buried his head in his hands.

Oliver’s arm came around his shoulders and hugged him hard, rough. Determined. “Mum would be so sad to think that you couldn’t grab your chance at happiness because of some misplaced guilt.”

Aaron dragged in a ragged breath. Blinked away the blurriness in his eyes. They sat like this, bound together by memories, shared grief, brotherhood. Something stirred in Aaron’s chest. Ballooned out through his veins. A throb of hope… and fear… but this time the fear was different. It wasn’t threatening to cut off his airways anymore.

“I don’t have a clue how to do this stuff,” he said finally.

“What stuff?”

“The girlfriend, boyfriend, commitment stuff.”

“But you want to? With Alice, don’t you?”

Yes, yes, yes. He wanted to dive into everything that was Alice, the apple blossom scent of her, her big doe eyes… that smile she had with her head tilted to one side. Her passion for musty old romance books. The way she fingered her hair behind her left ear. Always the left, because that’s the way it fell… That weird little hum she made when she didn’t know what to say, those damn sexy stupid slippers.

All of it.

All ofher.

But all Aaron got out was a strangled, “Maybe.”

Oliver scoffed loudly.

Aaron gave a lopsided grin in response. “How do I even start?”

“Tell her the truth. That you can’t stop thinking about her; that you want to be with her all the time, that this is all new to you and you don’t know what to do. And go from there. Just be you. Totally fucking terrified but wanting to make a go of it…”

Automatically Aaron’s mouth opened to rebut all this, because… because… why? Because not feeling anything was an equation that added up to no risk. No pain. And no love either.

Hell, he’d played a part for so long, but now, could the real Aaron please stand up? The Aaron who wasn’t afraid to feel. The Aaron who wasn’t afraid to…

Fall.

In.

Love.

There, he’d let himself acknowledge those three little words. He was still here, still breathing, still alive.

Rising, his legs as wobbly as a newborn colt, Aaron adjusted his collar, picked up his jacket and swung it over his shoulder.

“You’re right,” he said, the sun warm on his back. “I need to tell her how I feel.”

* * *

Rowena was either dead or had gone to ground. All day, her phone had zapped straight to message bank, and even taking into consideration the time difference, she should have replied by now.

Alice was mad at her, sure, but she didn’t want Mum to be dead. That would be kind of horribly ironic. Find one parent and lose the other in the space of twenty-four hours.

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