Page 73 of April Renegade

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

As much as I’d like to go and be there for Ash after his hellish night, I respect his request for space. Still, sleeping next to him last night and waking up to him this morning had been like something from a fairytale, and I miss his presence as soon as I get into bed.

I’m proud of Ash. When he made more promises last night, I didn’t believe him at first. Why would I? But after he illustrated his need to talk with Mike and the others, then his plans of breaking things off with Lizette, I knew something inside of him had changed. The fact that he broke things off with Lizzy shows me that I can learn to trust him again.

I reach over to turn off the lamp on the bedside table when I hear a knock at the door. The clock on my phone says it’s past one in the morning. I hop out of bed and move to open the door. Maybe Ash changed his mind, after all.

When I open the door, Lizette stares back at me, and I stop breathing. I flinch as she shoves me aside and storms into the room.

She paces in between the bed and balcony. A steady flow of tears falls from her eyes. Smudges of damp, black makeup crowd her temples from where she’s rubbed her tears away, and her eyes are glossy and pink. I’ve never seen her look anything except perfect, and I feel bad for her–I do. It’s not her fault this happened. Anyone in her position would be confused and torn apart.Ash is mostly to blame, but it’s not like I stopped messing around with him when he was with her, either. My heart strains in my chest.

The fact that she’s here and pacing around my room tells me that Ash was completely honest and told her about us. I’m glad he did because I wasn’t sure he’d follow through with that part of the story.

I try to say something,anything,but each time, I choke on air, and the words refuse to come out.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Lizette mutters to herself after a few minutes.

“Lizette–” I walk toward her, but she holds up a hand and signals for me not to come any closer.

“Ash said–he said thatyou–that it’s been going on this whole time?”

It’s like she’s registering his words as she speaks. I watch in horror as her eyes transform from sadness to fury.

“I cut things off as soon as you started dating.” It’s a shitty excuse, but it’s true.

She laughs and shakes her head before she stomps over to where I stand and shoves me. Lizette is strong from her workout regimen, and the contact of her hands on my chest makes me stumble backward.

“Seriously?” I bark.

“Yes, Drew,seriously.”She gets in my face. “How could you? Fortwo yearsyou fuck my boyfriend? Fortwo yearsyou act like you’re just best buddies in front of me?”

I don’t point out that we’ve been pretending in front of everyone for much longer than that because I have a feeling she might punch me–or worse–if I do so.

“Lizette, I’m sorry for that. Truly. Like I said, I tried to stay away. I did. But it takes two–” She looks away from me like I’ve slapped her. “I’m not going to defend Ash, but I’m also not going to take a beating for this. I’m sorry, Lizette. I begged him to break things off with you from the beginning because I knew things would end up this way.”

“End up how? With you getting your way?”

I stare at her, totally dumbfounded. Does she not understand that he’s gay? That he wasn’t in love with her?

“You’re upset and taking it out on me. That’s all this is.” I motion in between us.

She scoffs and wipes at fresh tears with a wrist. “Ash could have loved me if it wasn’t foryou.You don’t know him like I do, Drew.”

Well, now I’m pissed. The sour bite of rage hits the back of my throat, and without thinking, I lash out. “Is that so, Lizette? You know him better than me?” I shake my head and get in her face this time, my anger untamable. “Were you the one to save him from his shitty parents ten years ago?” She clenches her jaw and takes a step back. “Do you evenknowabout his abusive, good for nothing parents?” I’m seething as I spit the words out.

There’s no going back now. Jealousy from the last two years rises up and blends with my anger, and creates a venomous concoction of words on my tongue. “I was his first, Lizette. His firsteverything.Did he tell you that?” She doesn’t answer. She looks down at the floor. I know I should stop, but I can’t. “I was the first person he sang for. The first person to believe in him. I was his first blow job, his first French kiss, his first fuck. The first time he ever made love to someone, it wasmy nameon his lips. Not yours. The first time he said ‘I love you’ was tome.Not you. Do you want me to keep going?”

My hands are curled into tight fists by my side. Lizette sobs and shuffles around me toward the door.

Fuck.I went too far. I didn’t want it to come to this, but Lizette has to get it through her head that Ash isn’t hers. He’smine.He’s finally mine.

“Iamsorry, Lizette. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with you. That wasn’t my decision. I never wanted to see you hurt, but you can’t place the blame on me. I know you want to, but you can’t.” She pauses in front of the door. “It’s a shitty situation, and that’s an understatement. But the sooner you understand that Ash is in love with me, the better.” I huff out a breath. “Be mad, Lizzy. Get drunk, throw shit, light the fucking world on fire. You deserve to–but the sooner you understand that this is real, the sooner you can move on and find someone who worships the ground you fucking walk on. Okay?”

Lizette turns her face toward mine. Her lips tremble, and her shoulders quake with the sob she’s keeping back from me. She spares me a single glance, and then she’s gone.

We boardedour flight to D.C. a few minutes ago, right as the news about Ash and Lizzy went live. With all the commotion, Mike pulled a lot of strings last night and found a way to fly us back to the East Coast on a private jet for Ash’s sake. If there was any day to avoid the paparazzi and our fans, it’s today.

Unfortunately, the first thing I had to tell Ash this morning was about the confrontation I had with Lizette. I texted her when I woke up to check in and apologize, even though I’m sure I am the last person she wants to hear from. She hasn’t texted back, and I don’t expect her to. Ash wanted to reach out, too, but at that point, I told him that maybe he should back off so that she can process everything. That’s what I would want if our roles were reversed.

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