Page 32 of A Gentleman's Wife

Thomas swallowed hard. “I… I have news from my grandfather, though I’m at a loss to explain…”

“Is he unwell?”

“It’s not his health. It’s what he’s asked me to do that feels impossible.” Thomas stood from his bed, running a hand through his hair and letting out a struggled breath. Surely it was too much to ask of her. Marianne had enough on her plate to take on his romantic past as well. But he couldn’t leave her unprepared. And more than that, he was quickly finding he wanted her to know the truth about his past. He needed to depend on her, and he didn’t want any secrets between them.

“I don’t want to add this to your list of worries for the ball. I only tell you this so you won’t be caught off guard, but I don’t want you to shoulder this burden. This is for me alone.” The sliver of hot anger in his chest must have made his face unseemly, for she reared back when he leveled his gaze on her.

“Very well,” she said.

Thomas took to pacing the room, trying to clear his thoughts before he spoke. “I am not a man of many passions, but I did fancy myself in love once. I mentioned this to you the day we went riding.” Marianne nodded, so he continued. “We met what feels like years ago at a house party and formed a friendly acquaintance. She wrote to me after the house party dispersed, asking for help with a business matter, but it eventually became something more.” The regret of that attachment returned with a vengeance, something he hoped he’d long forgotten. “I planned to ask for her hand, but by the time I did, she had already promised herself to another man. A family friend of my father’s, the Earl of Slanton.”

Marianne’s face lost its charming color. “A countess?”

Thomas nodded.

After a moment, she finally spoke. “She’s the reason you agreed to the arranged marriage.”

Thomas hung his head. “Yes. You and I were married before they announced their engagement. And I have nursed my wounds and fought to forget her.”

He could see Marianne crumbling before his eyes, and he couldn’t allow it. Not now when he needed her the most. Thomas moved swiftly, kneeling before her and covering her hand with his, making it impossible to avoid his gaze.

“It has taken me time to come to terms with the situation, but I have no regrets. Because I am happy here. With you.”

She took a breath, acknowledging him with a nod.

“But now my grandfather is insisting we invite them to the ball, and I’ll be damned if I’ll allow her to ruin things all over again.” The words came out so low, it was nearly a growl to his own ears. He stood and took to pacing again. “We’ll just have to continue as normal. I will make introductions and fulfill the required societal niceties, but no courtesy beyond that. Is that agreeable to you?”

Marianne gave him a look that would have made him laugh under different circumstances, like she understood she didn’t have a choice in the matter. “We will do what we must.”

Thomas sighed. “I’m sorry I have to even ask this of you, but do you have any remaining invitations?”

She shook her head. “No, I penned each one by hand. I will draw up one more and have Collins bring it to your study in the morning.”

The fire cracked and fizzled, the only sound in the room as Thomas was overcome with regret. “Thank you.”

“I think I will retire now.” Marianne stood, and once again he mourned their lost time together. “Good night, Thomas.”

She barely met his gaze as she departed. Did she feel as wretched and helpless as he did? Was there any way he could make it right?

“Marianne,” he said urgently, and she paused her steps. “We will get through this together by depending on and caring for each other, as you said. You are my wife, not her, and I’m grateful every day for it.”

He hoped she understood the truth of his words, but her face revealed nothing, not a whisper of what she felt. She only gave him a measured smile and nodded before leaving him in the bedroom alone.