Page 49 of Playing the Scoundrel

Chapter Twenty-One

Emma sipped her wine, glancing back and forth between Mrs. Dunn and Mr. Godwin at the dinner table. They were jabbing at each other good-naturedly, both wearing sarcastic grins, and Emma was glad to see him smile so easily. When she had caught a glimpse of him in the park, he’d looked pale and completely hopeless, which had caused great alarm. She’d hoped they’d been on their way to becoming friends, that he might see she was justified in her actions and not hold it against her. But learning the truth of his father made her truly concerned, and even more repentant of how she’d treated him. Mrs. Dunn was right; Emma’s judgment of him was not fair, for she had no idea the kind of life he’d led that made him the way he was. One wrong turn did not deserve another, and she was beginning to feel the truth of that in her heart.

“I think I’ve had enough of you, Mr. Godwin.” Mrs. Dunn dabbed her serviette over her smirking lips and stood from the table. “Have you finished, Emma?”

“I have, Mrs. Dunn.”

“Then let’s retire to the parlor, and you can be the subject of his attention for a while.”

Mr. Godwin hurried around the table to escort Mrs. Dunn, but she waved him off, leaving him to escort Emma instead. He offered her his arm, which Emma took, and let him lead her out of the dining room.

“That was a delicious meal, was it not?” he asked.

“Indeed. And all the better for present company.”

He looked down at her with a smirk. “Come now. Don’t try and butter me up, Miss Follett. If you want something, you just come right out and say it. I believe you much prefer being blunt, don’t you?”

Emma pressed her lips together, wishing away the burn of her cheeks. “And here I was hoping you’d forget one of my worst moments.”

“Forget the day my heart was utterly crushed?” His voice was gruff, his breath tickling her ear. When she turned to look at him, she caught a glimpse of the same sorrow from their confrontation, and it caused the guilt in her chest to grow.

“It may take some time for me to recover, but I fear I will never forget that moment, Miss Follett. You properly put me in my place, and I daresay I deserved it.”

“I’m not sure you did.” He led her to a chair in the parlor and sat across from her, while Mrs. Dunn sat closer to the fire. “Here I thought I was being a faithful friend, protecting Miss Roberts from when you broke her heart, but it seems she’s turned right around and got herself engaged.”

Mr. Godwin’s eyes went wide. “Is that so? Well, good on her.”

“And not only that, but the burden you bear with your father. I never could have known, but I hate that I have added to your pain.”

He did not immediately respond, he just watched her for a moment, until he nodded. “I appreciate that, Miss Follett, but there’s more to it than that, isn’t there?” Mr. Godwin sat back in his chair. “You spoke of a young woman being abandoned with a child, which clearly was not Miss Roberts.”

Emma lifted her chin, suddenly fearful. The truth that could end her chances in London, with Mr. Bernard. But she couldn’t lie, could she? Of all people, Mr. Godwin deserved to know the real reason she’d felt so offended by his character, by his mistreatment of others. Surely, if he truly cared for her, she could trust him with her secret.

“You are correct. Someone very close and dear to me.” Emma glanced over at Mrs. Dunn, wondering if she would trust Mr. Godwin. “To truly understand why I did what I did, I would need to confess a large secret, one that has the power to ruin me. But I can trust you, can’t I, Mr. Godwin?”

His eyes softened, their dark green hue like a welcoming blanket. “Yes, you can.”

“Very well. Though you may wish to excuse yourself from my presence the moment the words are spoken.”

“Nothing you could say would make me want to leave you, Miss Follett.”

His words caused her heart to skip a beat, and she should have berated herself for any hope that blossomed in her chest.

“The truth is, my sister is not dead. That was a story Mrs. Dunn concocted to allow me a chance for a decent match this season. In reality, my sister Judith was ruined by a gentleman passing through our village in the country. She bore his child five years ago, and we had to send her away. I cannot see her above twice a year.” Emma swallowed, speaking words she’d never dared say to anyone outside her parents’ home. “When you and I met, I immediately painted you as a man like the one who ruined my sister, and I couldn’t shake the thought. Then hearing how Miss Roberts mourned your rejection, it lit a fire inside me, and I suddenly became determined to have revenge. For her, for my sister, and for so many others.” Emma shook her head. “But you said it yourself. It was misguided vengeance, and I can see that now looking back. I should have behaved better and never treated you so unfairly.”

“I do understand how you would have seen your actions justifiable. They do have some merit. For you would not have painted me a blackguard had I behaved better, isn’t that true?”

He wore a teasing smile, and Emma was grateful that he wasn’t offended by her original appraisal of him.

“Speaking bluntly, I don’t think you’re nearly as bad as I thought you were, or as despicable as your reputation makes you out to be.”

“Now, don’t let Mrs. Dunn hear you say that,” he said in mock alarm. “She only enjoys my company when I’m being a cad.”

“Well, I enjoy your company regardless.”

The words were out before she could stop them. Emma closed her mouth and met his gaze, and Mr. Godwin appeared as surprised as she felt. But while she regretted the words, it was not because they weren’t true. It was only out of fear of his response. She couldn’t encourage him like that, not after she’d toyed with him and hurt him. He deserved a steady friendship first. But he didn’t seem to mind her comment, for he just smiled.

“I’m happy to hear it, Miss Follett. Your vote of confidence gives me hope that my desire to change is not in vain, and that I might earn your favor again.”

Emma bit her lip, unable to keep her smile from breaking free. His words brought Mrs. Dunn’s conversation to memory, that Emma was not bound to Mr. Bernard if she didn’t want to be. Could she allow herself to hope for a reformed rake? Could it be possible that he would still want her after she’d spurned him so terribly?

“Are you going to leave me over here alone all evening?” Mrs. Dunn called from the fireplace.

Mr. Godwin grinned and stood, holding his hand out to Emma.

“But you’ll keep my secret about my sister?” she asked.

Mr. Godwin reached over and took her hand, holding it securely between both of his. “Your secret is safe with me.”

Emma sighed, squeezing his hand before tucking it into the crook of his arm as he led her back to Mrs. Dunn. Emma didn’t deserve his kindness, but she was relieved to know that she could trust him, which she hoped was a sign they were on their way to being friends again.

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