Page 293 of The Long Way Home

Sixty-Eight

Magnolia

I’m nervous as I head over to Knightsbridge the next day.

And sad, I suppose, if I’m honest.

I know I haven’t a right to be.

I am Shakespeareanly in love with another man and Julian knows it, but I wouldn’t have slept with BJ without ending it with him first, and I know we’re not the same. I know Julian is Julian and he treats not just women like garbage but all people like they’re disposable, but actually — I had begun to think that maybe he saw me differently. Clearly I’m just as disposable to him as anyone else.

BJ kissed me though.

That softens all the blows.

I don’t know what that kiss means. I don’t know what that means about Jordan, but he told me to end it with Julian.

I probably would have anyway after last night.

I can’t quite erase the audio in my mind of the little sounds that girl was making with her legs wrapped around him — sex sounds are so terribly invasive from a third-party perspective, and I’ve never wanted to see other people like that — but I saw it and now I can’t unsee it. So now, even if I’m a bit sad about it in a way that, quite frankly, I don’t understand, I will, nevertheless, end it.

I walk up to his bedroom and knock on his door.

“What?” he calls and I swing it open.

He sits up straighter when he sees it’s me.

And then I spot Bianca’s sister and another blonde girl, both in his bed.

“Leave,” he tells them unceremoniously.

Both girls roll out of his bed, gather their clothes quickly and scurry out of his room.

I stand there watching him not them, arms folded, brows low.

“Nice,” I glare over at him when they’re gone.

He rolls his eyes as he gets out of bed. He’s fully naked. Grabs a pair of black track pants that are by his bed. Black Tiger Motif track trousers from Kenzo — pulls them on.

“You were fucking a gang lord. What’d you expect?”

“More from you,” I tell him as I slip off my reversible Damier Azur hooded wrap from Louis Vuitton.

He sniffs annoyed and shakes his head at me.

“You got what you wanted.”

I give him a look. “What did I get that I wanted?”

His head pulls back. “You think I don’t know Ballentine went to your house last night?”

I blink at him in surprise, open my mouth to say something but I don’t know what I’d say.

“I have eyes everywhere,” he tells me. “I see everything.”

I fold my arms over my chest and walk towards him, frowning.

“You got him back.” He shrugs. “You’re welcome.”

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