Page 232 of The Long Way Home

“Alright!” She smacks her hands on her cheeks, embarrassed. “Can everyone please stop talking?”

“I actually walked in on her and Julian in my office the other week—” Jonah points at Parks, ignoring her request. “Which isn’t that weird for them but was fucking weird for me.”

“Jo’s office?” Christian cackles. “You’ve gone Full Beej.”

Everyone laughs but me and Parks.

She smiles over at me, weak.

(“Wait,” Georgia whispers to Henry, watching us. “Are they together?”)

The conversation moves on, Taura’s telling a story about sex at an aquarium, but I’m not paying attention.

My mind’s going a million miles an hour trying to work out how to tell her I don’t care. That it doesn’t matter to me even if it does, that I still love her the same, that nothing could undo how much I want her. I want her in an unchangeable way, even if loving her right now feels like a foot pressing down on my throat.

And Parks, she’s just staring at me, watching my face.

Before I even look at her, I know she looks nervous.

Sad, almost.

I can feel it on her.

I swallow — think quick — try to let her know it’s okay without saying the words.

I lean over, breathe her in.

“You smell different — is it new?”

She glances over at me, eyes quiet.

“Heures d’Absence. Louis Vuitton.”

I hold her eyes steady.

“I like it.”

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