Page 285 of The Long Way Home

The canary that lives in my ribcage jumps onto its bird swing and starts to chirp away and the loudest room in London can feel like a slow river running over small stones at a quarter past midnight when he zones in on me, when he turns down the volume of the world with eyes I’ll never get past.

Hi, I mouth.

He gives me a barely-there smile and a blink-and-you-miss-it wink.

“Oi.” Julian nods his chin at Beej. “I’ve got some shit to do — can you grab her a drink?”

I look at Julian a bit perplexed. He just glances at me with a face I can’t totally place.

Beej nods. “Sure?”

Jules nods his head at Jo to follow him and I guess that makes sense. Julian tries his best to keep this part of himself separate from me.

Beej glances at the couch and I follow him over.

“Where’s Jordan?” I ask as I sit down next to him.

He leans over and almost grimaces. “We really need to have a talk, you and me.”

I feel nervous immediately. I swallow, nod, wave my hand permissively. “Go on, talk.”

He squashes a smile, looks around and then shakes his head.

“Not here.”

I look at him, confused. “Where then?”

He nods his chin at me. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

My heart leaps up into my throat.

“I don’t know,” I tell him in a quiet voice.

He pokes me in the ribs. “Now you do.”

My cheeks go pink immediately and I don’t care for it, so I cross my arms over my chest. “Actually, I don’t know a thing. That was all horrendously vague.”

“You’ll live.” He gives me a small smile before he nods over at me.” What did you do today?”

I shrug. “Lunch with Bridge at Annabel’s.”

He smiles. “She good?”

“I don’t know. You tell me, you with your weekly lunches.”

He gives me a look. “You live together.” And then he leans back on the couch a little, rests his head back, smiling over at me.

“Who’d have thought it, you and Bridget living together…”

I laugh and shake my head at him. “She’s my best friend.”

“No, I know, but I can’t really believe she agreed to it. You’d be nightmare of a housemate.”

I play-frown at him and he lets out a laugh.

“You would,” he insists.

“I’ll have you know that I am a breeze to live with.”

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