“I’m good. Thank you,” I said.
“Okay, then,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I’m right next door if you do.”
“Thanks,” I said with a smile.
I went inside, closed the door, and forgot about Chris, and Jennifer Jones.
I had chosen my new name from a list of the most popular names of the twentieth century. But I knew that wouldn’t be enough to deter Davit forever, which was why I kept moving.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’d allowed myself to breathe a little bit.
In those first days, I’d been convinced that Davit was hiding around every corner. He didn’t know about the baby, but I knew he’d want an explanation for why I’d left, and that was something I couldn’t give him.
But, eventually, he’d give up.
The thing between us had been convenience on his part and insanity on mine. Once it became clear that I wasn’t a threat to his business, he’d move on and forget about me.
What about the baby?
I felt myself frowning at the thought. I carried near crushing guilt at the thought of keeping the baby from him. But that was my burden to carry. I loved this baby more than anything, and I had to do whatever it took to protect it.
Even from its father.
Even from myself, if it came to that.
So I’d deal with the guilt and do what I had to.
I’d also deal with the loneliness, would deal with anything to protect us.
I ate my dinner, watched a mindless crime drama on TV, and then lay down.
This life was exhausting, both physically and emotionally, but I would get through it. Because as much as I wanted it to be different, it couldn’t be.
When I was younger, I had fantasized about my husband and I finding out we were pregnant, going to all our doctor’s appointments together, how I would feel when I held my child in my arms.
The love that would be there, the family I had always wanted so desperately.
But that wasn’t to be.
The father of my child was a killer.
And a liar.
It spoke poorly of me that I couldn’t decide which was worse. In truth, I could accept Davit’s reasons for killing Keenan. Even appreciate them, as fucked up as that was.
But for him to conspire with my father and not tell me…
I sighed, closed my eyes, trying to fight the tears that came far too easily these days.
It was the hormones, and I reminded myself of that.
Hormones or not, it was sometimes hard for me to wrap my head around everything that had happened, the predicament I found myself in now.
Davit was a stranger to me, a dangerous and deadly one.
But my father…
To think that I’d trusted him.