Page 109 of Truth (Wicked Empire 2)

Twenty-Six

Amethyst

“I hopeI’m not bothering you,” Kayla said one afternoon after she’d dropped by the house.

“Of course not,” I replied, though I could tell she didn’t believe me.

She’d called and arranged the visit, and I was so happy to see her.

“How’s Crystal?” she asked after she sat down in the living room.

“She’s fine,” I responded.

I stood up and headed toward the kitchen. “May I offer you something to drink?” I asked.

“No, thank you. I’m fine,” she said.

I continued toward the kitchen anyway, and Kayla was following me in step.

After I grabbed a drink, I sat on the sofa and let out a sigh.

It had been three weeks since Crystal’s birth, and I had been completely focused on all the changes that had come with it, but I wanted to take a minute to really talk with someone.

“She’s not latching well. It’s getting better, but it’s a lot of work and effort. I’ve even used a bottle a couple of times,” I said.

I looked at Kayla, waiting for a reaction. She just looked at me serenely.

“You don’t have anything to say?” I asked.

I felt nervous, like there was an impending judgment, but Kayla just shrugged.

“I mean, I’m definitely not an expert, but what is there to say? She’s being fed. She’s being loved. Whether her sustenance comes from a bottle or not is beside the point,” Kayla said.

I took a sip of water and looked at her suspiciously. “Have you been talking to Paulette?”

Kayla smiled. “No, but I’m assuming she’s on my side.”

“Yeah. Her, and Davit.”

“So what’s the problem?”

I looked at Kayla, tempted not to say anything, but the urge to speak was overwhelming. “I feel like a failure. I mean, who can’t feed their baby?”

“Lots of people don’t breastfeed, Amy. It’s not a bad mark on your character, and what does your doctor say? I bet if you asked, she’d tell you that it doesn’t make a difference. So cut yourself some slack,” Kayla said.

It was as definitive as I’d heard her been about a subject, and I felt something of a relief. I wanted to be the perfect mother for Crystal, and already felt like I was failing her.

But maybe Kayla was right.

Something to think about, but not now.

“Is Paulette working out?” Kayla asked.

“Oh my God, is she. It is a blessing to have her,” I said.

“Good,” Kayla responded.

I smiled at her. “Am I supposed to overlook that I-told-you-so expression on your face?”

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