Page 47 of Betraying Katie

“Do you ride horses?”

She blinked at him, obviously not expecting the question.

“Not in forever, but I have.”

“Does that sound like fun?” It would keep his hands off her, at least.

She nodded and he led the way to the paddock where there were four horses ready for riding.

He’d been spending a lot of time with these animals. They were sweet, docile, calm, and rescues like himself.

His therapist had told him it was good for him to learn to connect with something else, even if it was an animal and not a person. She told him that his desire for Katie was probably from some sort of longing for a personal relationship he’d never had, and that wasn’t what he should be focusing on during his treatment anyway.

Jake, the man in charge of the horses, was a paid employee who came every day to make sure the animals were cared for properly. He also helped the rescues who came in from terrible circumstances. Antonio revered the man and wanted to be like him when he grew up.

A scoff escaped at the thought. But it was true.

He and Jake saddled two of the horses, while Katie watched attentively. Jake gave him a smirk out of the side of his mouth before saying, “The trail to the back of the tank hasn’t been walked in a while. If you want privacy, that’s a good spot.”

“Thanks.”

He watched her swing up onto her horse, stifling his groan as her jeans stretched tight over her ass. He managed to get up on his own horse, almost as gracefully as she had, and then with a little clicking noise, they were off.

“It’s really beautiful out here,” Katie started after an awkward silence.

“It is. I love it here, honestly. The fresh air and the trees are amazing.”

He wanted to ask her questions, but knew she’d come here for a reason, so he stayed silent while she gathered her thoughts. He looked over at her and saw her biting her lip in concentration, her eyes taking in the trees and forest around them.

“I’ve been to a psychiatrist. Just once, but she thinks it’s too soon to see you.” She smiled wanly. “So this is against doctor’s orders, but I need answers from you. I can’t seem to go on without them.” Her fists clenched and unclenched, as if she were trying to keep them still. Nerves? Probably.

“I’ll tell you anything. I’m presuming Ghost has already been to see you?”

“Yeah, he has. It was a pretty enlightening visit.”

Antonio could only imagine what Ghost had said. He clamped his mouth shut against further questions.

“Why me? Why did you target me? What did I do to make you take me, of all people?”

He tugged on the reins, halting his horse, and she did the same, but more gently.

“Please, you have to believe this… I did not take you. I had nothing to do with that part of things. He took you because I had been talking to you online. They were spying on me and used you to test me. They were watching how I treated you, how I used you for my pleasure, a trial for me.” He reached across the expanse between them to grasp her hand. “Online, our experiences were real for me. I saw in you something I could never have, and the temptation to talk to you and have whatever relationship I could with you was too much to ignore. I saw a wonderful human who was open to sharing new experiences with me, and open to so much more I couldn’t dream of. It was a dark place I was in, and I regretted every choice I had made to get there, and you were a light, a dream I dared to have. I used you to pretend I was someone very different. I’m sorry. So sorry.”

If he hadn’t indulged in that fantasy, she never would have appeared on Hector and El Cuchillo’s radar. They never would have taken her.

She was silent, staring at him. Then she looked down at her hand in his. He dropped his grip, feeling like he’d overstepped somehow.

“I shouldn’t have. I know.”

“You must have felt so alone there.”

Her voice was soft, reassuring, and he made a small noise of agreement in the back of his throat because he couldn’t speak. Tears were close to the surface.

He’d cried a lot since he’d been here. Part of it was the drugs. Part of it was the therapy, the breakthroughs, and part of it was his own internal dialogue with himself.

Self-loathing was a very real emotion for him.

“Listen to me.” She reached for his shoulder, but just grazed it. The horses might have been a bad idea. They were so far away from each other. “I’m still processing everything that happened. You’re still doing the same, right?” He nodded. “When do you get out of here?”

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