Page 84 of The Two of Us

“Nothing… I just didn’t realize a member from Men in Black would be joining us tonight.”

“Ha. Ha. I just figured I should be incognito if we’re to be taking part in questionable activities tonight.”

Cat laughs and I relish the sound. It sounds like church bells on a Sunday morning.

She points to the car parked in the street. The music pulsating through the bass causes the car to shake.

“Wait,” I say, grabbing her sleeve. “What if… what if they don’t like me?”

She shrugs as if the answer’s simple. “Then they don’t like us.”

I smile in response and she extends her hand. I grab on tight, the identical scars on our palms melding together.

“Ready, Sally?”

“Ready, Gilly.”

***

Our first stop is the local bar. My anxiety causes my nerves to feel as though someone has taken a Taser to them and I’m sure I look like I’m Cat’s hostage.

Cat pinches my butt as we walk toward the bouncer. “Relax.”

“Relax?” I scoff. “I’m the only one here who’s still seventeen. There’s no way he’s gonna let me in.”

“That’s why we got you this,” says one of Cat’s cheer friends. Her name’s Ruby and she’s nice. She told me my outfit gives off hot, Catwoman vibes. She hands me the fake ID.

“You’re kidding me.” The girl in the photo looks nothing like me. She’s at least ten years my senior and her hair is red while mine is brown. “This lady,” I say, squinting in the dark, “Holly Gutierrez doesn’t even look like she could be my cousin.”

Ruby yanks down her blouse to expose the lacy bra beneath and winks. “The bouncer won’t pay too close attention. Trust me, his eyes will be drawn elsewhere.”

The other two girls, Candice and Marie, nod as if they’ve done this a million times. As we get closer in the line, Cat whispers into my ear. “Mara, if you don’t want to do this, we can leave.”

I hate the idea of making Cat leave on my account. She always goes out of her way to make sure I’m comfortable. But what I’m realizing is that sometimes, comfort holds you back. Sure, most of the time it feels warm and fuzzy like a hand-knitted sweater. But eventually, we grow out of that sweater. And we need something bigger to fit the new person we’re supposed to become.

I remove my black jacket so all I’m left with is the black camisole that hugs my skin in all the right places. The girls hoot as I shake my wild curls out from its updo and Cat grins.

I fan my face with the ID, faking the confidence until it feels real and smile at Cat. “It’s Holly tonight.” The girls holler in unison.

I have more fun at Duffy’s than I expected. For the first time in my life, I feel free. Like I’ve broken off the chains of always second-guessing myself. It’s liberating. And even though we all sport Xs on our hands, notifying every bartender that we’re too young to drink, we’re our most uninhibited selves on the dance floor.

It’s ’80s throwbacks night and we jump in a circle together, belting the lyrics to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” We ignore every advance from the men who try to insert themselves into our little pod, telling each other to shout, “It’s girls’ night” in their faces when they approach. I laugh so hard, soda flies out my nose more than once. And then I laugh some more.

We’re still howling over the man who looked at us in utter confusion when Cat rejected him in pig Latin when we pull into the parking lot of the zoo. A handful of cars are already parked, telling us a ton of seniors have already snuck in. It’s close to midnight as we skip toward the entrance, arms looped with one another’s, and enter through a door a fellow senior holds open. Marco Riley works at the zoo and is charging every senior five dollars for letting them in the easy way. Candice says the hard way includes sneaking in through the floor where they store the dead fish for shows. I much prefer Marco’s way.

We hand him our money and head inside. We’re on our second round of flip cup near the Mouse Manor exhibit when Ambrose walks in with a few of his friends and my heart gives out.

I lean into Cat. “What’s your brother doing here?”

She shrugs. She must not have known he’d be here. “No clue. Maybe he wants a little pregame fun before his birthday party tomorrow.”

Ambrose is only a year older than us, but somehow college makes him seem years ahead. The once raging storm in his eyes has sputtered out into a gentle crash against the rocks. Being away from home has implanted a certain calmness into his step. Sasha is absent from his side, but I don’t get my hopes up. I know they’re still dating. It’s one of the facts I wish I didn’t know.

I didn’t forget it’s Ambrose’s birthday tomorrow. I’d never forget. But I can’t understand why he’d rather spend it back in Speck Lake than with his new college friends from his bigger college town.

Cat snaps her fingers in front of my face. “Do you need a napkin? You’re drooling on me.”

I swat her and she giggles. “I am not.”

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