Page 101 of The Two of Us

Take care of him, Gilly.

Take care of her, Dad.

The funeral is beautiful. There are more kinds of flowers than I knew existed and I thank Nadine profusely for donating so many from her nursery. Her eyes overflow with tears when she says she’d bring an entire garden to my dad’s funeral if she could. Comments like that happen a lot. I learn just how many lives my dad touched. Like me, he was quiet but unlike me, he loved loud. I have a lot to learn from him.

I’m thanking people for coming and inviting them to stop by the reception at the house for food when I spot Ambrose watching me from afar. His black dress pants are pressed, but the sleeves rolled up to his elbows make him look casual. Dad would have loved that. He hated fuss. Ambrose resembles a sentry as he leans against a large sycamore tree. Like he leans against cemetery trees all the time.

I embrace Laura and Tally, letting them know that I’ll meet them back at the house and walk over to him. Despite the way we left things the last time we saw each other, Ambrose grabs me, enveloping me in his arms. I breathe him in and cling to him like my life depends on it. I think it does.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” he whispers into my hair.

I search his eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss too.” Even if I wasn’t there to witness their relationship over the years, I know my dad’s passing weighs heavy on him.

We hold each other’s gaze for what feels like hours before I force myself to speak. “There are things… I need to work through, Ambrose. And I can’t give myself to you until I take the time to work through them.”

He’s quiet for a minute before nodding. “I’m a patient man.”

Blood rushes through my ears and I drop my forehead to his chest. “Why?”

“Because I love you, Mara.”

My eyes fly to his and his smile is sad and hopeful all at once.

“Don’t look so surprised.”

My voice trembles. “Since when?”

“Since the day you knocked on my front door with that godforsaken cat in your arms.”

I choke out a warbled laugh and his voice becomes rough with emotion.

“I’ve loved you since that kiss outside of Old Maple and I’ve loved you since we both lost the person we loved the most. I loved you then and I love you now. And if you’ll have me… I’ll love you until my last breath. You’re the love of my life, Mara, but you’re my best friend too. I like you as much as I love you. I could have a million lifetimes with you and it still wouldn’t be enough.”

Words won’t form around the soft sobs escaping my throat, but Ambrose doesn’t push. He uses his thumb to wipe away the tear sliding down my chin. “So, take your time.”

“I—”

“Don’t say it.”

My face falls. “What? Why not?”

“Because when you say those three words,” he says, dragging his thumb across my bottom lip, “I want to see our future in your eyes. Not our past.”

His lips brush across mine so gently and it’s as soft as the cold breeze around us. He turns, leaving me alone beside the sycamore.

As cars find their way out of the parking lot, I walk back to my dad. The cemetery workers use an intricate pulley system to lower him into the cutout piece of earth and the flowers people placed on top of his casket follow him into the ground. I make a silent wish that they’ll grow around him and keep him safe.

I dig through my purse and pull out my phone before I change my mind.

It rings twice before the voice on the other end picks up and I sigh in relief.

“Mom? It’s Mara. I’m sorry to call so late but… I need you.”

***

I didn’t realize how much I’ve missed Paris. The moment I let go of all the resentment I hold toward my mom, I let go of all the resentment I hold toward the places and things connected to her.

When she picks me up at the airport, I don’t fight her embrace. She’s heartbroken to hear about my dad’s passing, but she doesn’t cry. The shield around her emotions is ironclad. And as much as I want her to crumble alongside me, I realize that sometimes you have to love people more than you want to change them. She’s on her own journey and I’m on mine.

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