Page 51 of DadBod

“No.” Cal shakes his head as he pulls back from my arms. “She’d get embarrassed and turn all red.”

I have to think about that for a minute. “I think everyone likes to have nice things said to them. It’s okay to tell her you like her teeth.”

“You think?” Calvin leans back on his pillow. Tapping his chin with his little finger, I want to laugh. He finally speaks. “I’ll try it.”

“Good.” Picking up the book, I open it back up. “Now, let’s get comfortable and read for a while.”

“Awesome.” My son scoots down further and brings his arms up behind his head and smiles. He’s ready.

* * *

Knocking,I lean in and press my ear against the door. I hear a low mumble like she’s watching something on her television, or most likely, on her computer. I knock again.

“Come in.”

Reaching for the knob, I half expect it to be locked, but it isn’t. I let it open slowly, and that’s when I see what Elizabeth was talking about. Ryann’s room is a disaster. “What the hell?” My voice isn’t loud or angry; it’s more surprised than anything else. “What’s all this?” I bend down and pick up a blouse. One I’ve seen before because I bought it for Tina. I’m not about to chastise my daughter for this, because who knows why all of her mom’s clothes, clothes she insisted on bringing back with her on the plane, are strewn about the room?

The rest of Tina’s things, her personal items, the things the kids didn’t want to bring back with them on the flight to Chicago, were all packed into one of those storage containers and shipped here to a place just outside of the city. That way, if the kids want or need something, it’s close by. The furniture and other large items are still in Tina’s condo. A condo she left to the kids. I’ve no intention of doing anything with that place. I’ll wait until they’re both old enough to decide whether they want to sell it or keep it. In the meantime, the condominium management company said they’d have no problem leasing it. That money can go into trust for them too.

“Ryann?” I look up at her. She’s lying on her bed, clutching something in her hands. Snuggling with it. I recognize it as well. It was Tina’s favorite robe. “Honey?” I take a few steps closer and feel pain in my chest. Her eyes are red and swollen like she’s been crying for a good long time. “Baby girl…” I pick up the pace, and as soon as I get to her, she jumps up and throws her arms around my middle and sobs. This breaks my fucking heart. “I’m sorry.”

“I miss her, Daddy.”

Wow, she hasn’t called me “Daddy” in several years.

“I know, Ri. I know.”

“It’s not fair.”

“I know.” I stroke my hand over her hair, trying to comfort her. “I know.”

I hold her for a good long while. When she asks, “Now, who’s going to teach me things. Girl things?”

My heart hurts again. A girl needs her mom, no doubt about it. Cal does too, but there’s that thing that moms and daughters have that men, fathers, just can’t replicate no matter how hard they try. I’m silent after her question. I’m afraid to say the wrong thing. I’m certainly not going to volunteer myself for that job. I’d fuck it up. And as for Elizabeth? Now’s not the time to mention her name. “Sweetheart.” Honest to God, I don’t know what to say, but I try. “I’ll help any way I can.”

And right at that moment, things shift. Ryann lifts her head and looks up at me, like Cal did a little while ago. “You’re going to talk to me about boys?” She arches that dark brow, waiting for my response.

Jesus, take the wheel. I’m not––“Boys are stupid. They’re assholes. Stay as far away from them as you possibly can.” When my sweet girl giggles, I know I said the right thing. “What? Why are you laughing?”

“You’d be terrible at girl-talk, Dad.”

And we’re back to “Dad.”

“Maybe with some practice…?”

“No.” She steps away from me and sits on her bed. “Thanks for––that.”

The pair of us spend a moment or two just looking at each other. She really does look a lot like me. Same coloring, same nose and eyes, but she’s got a lot of her mom in her too. That mouth of hers, the shape and the shit that comes out of it is all Tina. I look down at the floor. “Why are your mom’s clothes all over the floor?”

She shrugs. “I like looking at them.”

The next words out of my mouth have got to be right or else this little moment we’re having is going to go right into the shitter. “Would you like help hanging them up in your closet? That’ll keep them safe and—” I scan the room. “You could hang a few things on the hook next to the bathroom. That way you can see them.”

She nods. “Yeah. I don’t want them to get ruined.” Pushing herself up to standing, I begin by picking up the clothes and setting them on her bed. “I’ve got a bunch of those felt hangers in my closet. That will keep them from getting hanger marks. Would you like to use those?”

She nods. I turn and practically jog out the door and down the steps to my closet. If memory serves me from the day we packed the suitcases with Tina’s clothes, I’d guess she’s going to need three dozen hangers, at least. Scanning my own closet, I pull the empty hangers from the rod, but I don’t have enough, so I pull off shirts, jackets, and anything else I can find to free them up for Tina’s clothes. I’ll pick up some more hangers later this week.

Back in Ryann’s room, I set the hangers on the bed. She takes one in hand and looks at me. “Can we get white ones the next time we’re out? Her clothes would look better on white hangers rather than black ones.”

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