Page 32 of Last Chance

I’ve ignoredDonna’s calls. Cancelled all her therapy appointments and I’ve gone on this mini mission to correct my life with booze and fuck knows what else. But that ends now. I need to make this right. How can I be right for Ali and the baby when I’m so bad for myself? And it’s not just me to consider anymore, is it?

“Max! I thought you’d fallen off the face of the earth,” she tells me as I enter her office, looking around to try and focus. Not get distracted by the old Dr Pepper advert she has above the antique fireplace.

I’m nervous as I put a hand behind my neck and look at her. “I’ve been away. America.”

“I know.”

“How do you know that?”

“Mr Titchwell had me sign some of your medical forms. You know it’s quite hard to get back into America after a DUI conviction,” she says knowingly.

“So, I’ve been told,” I mutter. She’s looking at me with that all-knowing face, her fringe falling over her eyes as she gestures to the black pinned leather couch for me to sit. I follow her hand and take a seat. It must just be something about being in this room, being in her presence again but I do feel calm. Not wired like I normally am.

“Dons,” I whisper. I’m not even sure if she likes it that I call her that but when I first started with her, I had my defences up so high that my only reaction was to flirt with her a little. I’ve never met a woman young or old who hasn’t fallen for the charms of Max Baines but her soft, yet seriously hard exterior had her the complete opposite of swooning. But she listened. She took me in, and I suppose eventually I talked. I opened up a little. Okay, a lot.

“Yes, Max,” she says, a soft smile pulling at her lips.

“So much has happened. I don’t know where to start.”

“Well, let’s start somewhere. How about what happened when you saw Alison last? I’ve not seen you since you left my office practically skipping out of the door with the excitement of seeing her. I take it you did see her that night?”

I nod, the smile touching my cheeks involuntarily.

“And?” Donna presses, flicking her fire-red hair from her expectant blue eyes.

“Ali’s pregnant,” I tell her, trying to cover the smirk on my cheeks.

“That’s what she came to tell you?”

“No, not exactly but we, erm, certainly enjoyed each other’s company.” I can’t help but smirk. I’m not even cocky, I’ve not told a soul about Ali and me, but I do feel a swelling of pride. Donna’s eyebrows raise.

“She made a swift exit. I sulked, drank, refused to see you. Even smoked a little and maybe did some other stupid stuff. But I was pining for her. I fucked off to the States with Preston. But I couldn’t stay. I came back from America, came back to find her even though she said she didn’t want to see me again. But she found me first, Don’s.”

“She did?”

“Yeah. As I turned up home she was almost knocking on my door. Like we’re somehow connected on the same wave-length or something.”

Donna nods, I’m not sure if she’s with me or not but she’s certainly listening.

“I’m going to be a dad,” I finish.

“Wow, Max.” She lets a smile tug at her lips. “Congratulations.”

“Thanks, and thanks for seeing me again. I need your help; I need to be good for her. I need to be a good dad. I want to give Ali and the baby my all. But my all at the moment is nothing. I’m nothing.”

“Max, you are more than something, you just need to find yourself again, how can you expect to be good for them when you are not good for yourself? You need to make room in your heart for you again.”

I look at her almost dumbstruck. “How do I do that?”

“Love yourself?”

“Yeah.” I nod.

“Well, think of who you were before, who made that person happy. Max Baines was the king of the world as far as I was aware. Yes, you had an accident, but one night didn’t cause that, did it?”

“No, I started to crumble after Mum died.”

“Because you focused on looking after your sister and not looking after yourself.”

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