Page 138 of Light the Fire

Our eyes remained locked, and it was like I could feel him—not the savage beast prowling beneath his skin—but him, my Zane, my Captain Sunshine Grumpy Penis, staring back at me.

And in an instant that look was gone and he let out a harsh, pain-filled wail before he bent over and clutched at his belly.

With a sob, I turned around and started swimming toward shore. I could swim back to the dock, but my heart hurt too much to try. I just needed to make it to the rocks, then I could walk back through the woods.

I didn’t bother to sink beneath the water this time as I swam. They knew I was there. So I swam normally, and eventually, my feet hit the ocean floor. I waded through thick brown ribbons of kelp that made up the last twenty feet between me and the shore, then crawled up the small barnacle- and limpet-covered rocks and onto land.

I flopped on my back to the earth. Tears streamed down my temples and into my ears as my chest heaved and sobs tore through me.

Why had I gone to that boat?

Because you love them and your heart overruled your head.

Yeah, but it could have gotten me killed.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

If love made you do stupid things and put those you love in jeopardy, maybe it was overrated. Maybe they were better off without me.

After all, we’d managed to remove their tracking chips but not mine. Inevitably, we’d be found again. How many times could we fight until we lost? And if they made it through this chaos, they’d be without their enhanced abilities anyway.

Eventually, those who were after us would just start sending more and more people. More firepower. More Hellcats. We were a good team, but there were only four of us, and if they made it through the next five days, we’d be a team of three unenhanced Verians with fighting skills and one Hellcat.

I wasn’t sure how long I lay there, but it was at least until I had no more tears to cry and my breathing had evened out.

I could practically hear Zane’s voice in my head. “Get up, Kitten. Go be productive. Don’t be a liability and get us all killed.”

Chuckling, though it came out more like a breathy hiccup, I sat up and wiped my eyes. The guys were still on the boat, still watching me.

But I couldn’t watch them any longer. I needed to leave them to their chaos and hope to God that they came out on the other side.

That my men would come back to me.

The cut on my foot had already stopped bleeding, so after one last glance at the boat, I turned around and walked into the woods, determined to survive the next five days without my men so that maybe, just maybe, I could have the rest of my life with them.

It was agony staring out at the boat all day, hearing their sharp cries of pain and their wails of distress at night.

More than once I thought about rowing out to them with a dagger, slicing my wrist and offering myself to them, just to ease their torment, but I knew what Zane said would be true.

A pure fix would only last an hour or two, then they’d be craving more. And how could I supply three of them for the duration of our trip? For the rest of our lives?

I didn’t have enough blood in my body to save them from their torture, so they just had to ride it out and come out on the other side.

But that didn’t stop me from sitting down on the dock every morning, watching the boat, praying that today was the day they would turn around and return to me. Still the men that I’d fallen in love with. Still whole.

And every day, my heart broke a little more.

Of course, I didn’t just sit on the dock all day long every day. I made sure I was productive as well.

I set snares for rabbits and squirrels. Stalked grouse and nearly shot a doe with my bow until I saw three spotted fawns prancing behind her.

I boiled water and scrubbed linens in the bathtub until my fingers were wrinkled and nearly raw. I hung all the laundry up outside on a windy day, and by the time dusk rolled in, it was all dry.

It was the nights that were the loneliest. When my thoughts would wander and take on a life of their own.

I’d hear a piercing cry echo through the bay, and my skin would break out in gooseflesh. One of my guys was in pain. His body felt like it was on fire, and the addiction was trying to kill him.

Then I’d wonder if the pain would consume them and they wouldn’t be able to fight through it, wouldn’t make it back to me. I’d only ever known them with their enhanced abilities, and although I knew they were strong, we all have our breaking point.

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