Page 12 of Sensibly Wed

James took a step toward us, holding his hat in his hands. “Suppose we settle the matter now, but we wait to make any announcements until we have . . . tested . . . Society this evening at the ball. If we are in agreeance to move forward, it would be the ideal place to make our announcement.”

I tightened my hold on Papa’s sleeve, and he looked down at my hand, then at me. “Very well.” He vacated the room and closed the door behind himself, leaving us in the thick silence.

“This is all so ridiculous,” I said, lifting my gaze to find James regarding me thoughtfully.

“And to think most people will believe that you have artfully managed to trap me into marriage, Miss Thurston.”

My cheeks bloomed with heat, and he must have realized the unthoughtfulness of his words. He stepped forward. “Forgive me. That was void of tact.”

“Indeed, it was.”

“I only meant that our situation appears—”

“Yes, I do take your meaning. It is unfair, truly, that I will be blamed when it was I who tried to leave the library early, and you convinced me into a compromising position.”

“Perhaps we ought to refrain from pointing fingers. We do not wish to start a life together under such an accusatory tone.”

Start a life together. Black spotted the edges of my vision, and my stomach turned over itself. I could not marry a man I just met. What if he was truly forty years old and only appeared young or had a strong affinity for stargazy pie? I could not stomach sitting at a table with fish heads popping from a golden pie crust for the rest of my life.

“You look pale.”

“Thank you,” I said with some sarcasm, but allowed him to take my hand and lead me to a chair.

He knelt before me so we were nearly eye level and set his hat on Papa’s desk. His brow bent in concern. “Are you ill?”

I shook my head. “Merely coming to accept this awful situation.”

James smiled. “If nothing else, I can see that you are determined to keep me a humble man.”

“I did not realize you already possessed that admirable trait. I rather thought I was teaching it to you.”

He chuckled and took my hand in his. Our proximity robbed me of breath, and I struggled with where to place my gaze. I settled on looking into his eyes and noticed that they were a lovely mixture of green and brown, the flecks mingling into gold at the center.

It was ridiculous how easy they were to find myself lost in.

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness,” he said, “and I can see that you do not take action without thorough evaluation. I take equal blame—”

I lifted my eyebrows, and he smiled.

“Very well, I take a majority of the blame for the situation we have found ourselves in, and I would like to rectify it in the only way I can think to.”

“Have you put enough thought into this?” I asked. “Perhaps there is an answer we have yet to stumble upon.”

James’s mouth ticked into a half-smile. “I sacrificed sleep last night working over our situation in my mind. I consulted trusted confidantes, and I think this is the best way forward.”

I thought of the woman I saw flirting with him at the refreshment table the evening before and realized how little I knew of his life.

He still held my hand, and I covered his with my other one, my bare fingers curling around his. He seemed to draw still, but I did not remove my hold. “I am not naive enough to expect love, but I cannot move forward if I know that you hold another woman in esteem.”

Mr. Bradwell was well and truly out of the question for me now, so I could safely admit that I entered into any agreements uninhibited.

James cleared his throat, his gaze darting between my eyes. “I do not have anyone in my heart, Miss Thurston.”

“But yesterday, when I passed you in the ballroom, you seemed . . .”

“There is no woman who has any claim on me, I vow it.”

I relaxed and removed my hands from his. He retook them and looked down, lifting my burn to better see it. “Have you put any ointment on your injury?”