Page 36 of Cold

I stayed with Romare for a little while longer until I knew it was time to go. I slipped out of the bed and carefully covered him up. My fingers carded through his reddish-brown curls and traced down one freckle-dotted cheek.

“Why do you make me feel shit I haven’t allowed myself to feel in years? Hmm?” I traced my thumb across his plump bottom lip and shook my head. “I swore I would never let my emotions get the best of me again. It’s so much easier to feel nothing at all, but then you came along…”

And I wanted to throw all that heartless bullshit away.

I forced myself to get away from him before I climbed right back into the bed and wrapped myself around him. Amadeo was still waiting, I could hear him talking to Ric and Six. Business had to come first especially now that I knew what Romare had been going through.

Sergei was going to be found. And when he was? I would be the one to end his fucking life.

Anger surged in me and I tightened my fists. How could anyone look at sweet little Ro and hurt him?

I turned and walked out of the room with murder on my mind. When I padded back to the kitchen, my nephews stared up at me. Six leaned against the cabinet.

“What the fuck was that?” Six asked as he pushed away from it.

“Nothing,” I said.

“He had a knife!” Six said. “I don’t think that was nothing.”

“Quiet,” Amadeo snapped. “What’s going on with him?”

“I told you on the phone already, Ama. He’s fragile. Romare hasn’t told me much about Sergei, but those bruises tell a pretty good story.” I grabbed my cup of coffee and refreshed it. “He’s a mess.”

I hadn’t told Amadeo about our little incident at the mall and I didn’t want to. There was nothing that he could do about it and truth be told, it felt personal. Something that only needed to be known between me and Romare. I didn’t want to embarrass him or have anyone look at him in a bad light. He wasn’t like that. Deep down, Ro was just a sweet boy that needed a shoulder to cry on and a strong, guiding hand.

And I could be that for him.

“No shit,” Six mumbled. “I thought I was going to piss my pants.”

“You live with Ama and you’re that scared of a little knife?” Ric asked. “I think you’re being dramatic.”

“That’s different,” Six ground out.

Amadeo held up a hand. “Enough, you two.” He sighed. “Well, we have some information now. And we have a last name. Ivanov. They worked hard to protect it, didn’t they?”

I nodded, putting every other thought out of my brain except for the job. Right, we had a last name now and we knew that the two Russians were brothers. It was better than the nothing that we’d been working with before.

“What now?” I asked.

“Now we track these bastards down,” Ama said before he frowned. “You know just about every other organized family out there. Does the name Ivanov mean anything to you?”

I wracked my brain trying to put faces to the name, but I couldn’t place the name Ivanov. There were plenty of Russians out there searching for territory and some we’d even worked with in the past. But I shook my head as nothing came to me.

“Sorry, no,” I said as I took a gulp of coffee. “That might have been during the time I wasn’t around.”

“Right,” Ama sighed and his eyebrows drew together. The worry lines on his face grew every day.

“Try not to stress over this too much, Ama,” I said. “I know it’s your job and shit is falling apart, but if you don’t take time to breathe and relax you’ll get worn out. Being worn out makes you distracted. And being distracted gets you killed.”

“I know,” Ama said with a nod. “Once I get this underway then I’ll be able to get some rest, but until my people are safe, there’s nothing I can do, Vito. They’re depending on me to keep them safe. If I can’t do that, what’s the point?”

Ama pushed himself up and held out a hand. Six walked right to him, all the snark now gone as he slipped his hand into Amadeo’s. They shared a look that made me ache from the inside. That endless, empty pit inside of me longed to have something like that. Something real and connected. I had silenced that part of me for so long but it wouldn’t be shut down anymore.

Romare was changing me.

“Can I ask one more question?” Six asked. “The pacifier…what was that about?”

I shrugged. “That was personal.”

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